Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


'The source of media and private information about famous people' band according to IELTS



deep9012 1 / 2  
Oct 25, 2012   #1
Topic
Many newspaper and magazines feature stories about the the private lives of the famous people .we know what they eat ,where they buy their clothes and who they love .we often see picture of them in private situation

Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give the kind of private information about the people?
Give reason for you answer


Newspapers and magazines are the source of media ,which in real provide the information related to our World and the latest news about the Famous people in our society in which we live .however in some case newspapers publish more about the famous people private life .which in real is really inappropriate .In order to sell extra copies Beside this Magazines have a right to publish the news related to peoples that's what I think .

Firstly ,people buy newspapers for getting the news about politics and the trends happening in stock market .so providing the new related to people personal life is irrelevant .Customers who buy the copy of the newspaper are not interested to get the new about the famous people food,couture or what kind of leisure life they are living. Consumers are paying for getting the news about Global News ,latest info about weather ,Commodity and fluctuation in Forex exchange .In the same fashion way ,it is perfect for newspaper to provide a news related to famous people about latest happening in there professional life but keeping there personal life aside.

on the other hand side Magazines in the market are specially designed keeping customer interest in mind to know there curiosity about there interest . Moreover the Magazine market is full of all sorts of different magazine for instance

technology based,computer and Glamors life Magazines .So it is appropriate for a magazine to publish the information about people personal life .in fact the people are paying the money to get the news about there famous personalty in which way they live there life , and how they spend there daily routine.

So at last I would say it would be alright for magazines to publish the Private stories about the people because actually they are in business for the same purpose to fulfill the consumer desire and quench there thirst about there Favorite personality. But the purpose of newspaper is to Provide the news related to World not to break in some latest news about some famous people.

Scientiana 12 / 42  
Nov 11, 2012   #2
Your essay need a lot of improvement in order to achieve high band in IELTS. For example, you need to improve your grammar and be careful with punctuation and capital letter. You also have to use more vocabulary, don't just repeat the words! Try to use synonyms to get better mark for your essay. In addition, IELTS requires formal style of writing, so you should use a wide range of formal vocabulary. Read other people's essays to get more ideas of how to write a good essay.
dumi 1 / 6795  
Nov 11, 2012   #3
peoples

----- the word people itself is a plural word and therefore do not use "s" after this word.

soS o providing the news related to people personal lifelives of people is irrelevant .

Start sentences with a capital letter.... when you practice have that habit because you may make the same mistake in the test too.

Customers who buy the copycopies of the newspapers are not interested to get the newin knowing what's happening about the lives of famous people such as their food,coutureclothes or what kind ofthey do during their leisure life they are livingtime .
OP deep9012 1 / 2  
Nov 11, 2012   #4
Dear Scientiana,
Thanks for providing me your feedback and the impressive correction and suggestion .That for sure help me in achieving desired band score .
Regards

Dear Dumi,
Thanks for correcting my grammatical errors.I will try to rectify these kind of error in future.


Home / Writing Feedback / 'The source of media and private information about famous people' band according to IELTS
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳