Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things.



nguyenhaai 1 / -  
Jun 3, 2015   #1
Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Expenditure spent on space research is considered by some to bring good points to human beings, others believe that it would be beneficial if this money used to address earthly urgent problems, such as reducing poverty and preventing environmental destruction. Personally, I completely disagree with the former.

Technological advances which have been resulted from space innovations are beneficial to mankind. First, satellite technology, playing very important role on a daily basis, is used for broadcasting and weather forecasting. We would be able to know what is happening on Earth, or be given early warnings of approaching storm that helps limit massive damage to human and property with the help of satellite. Furthermore, some technologies used in medical field which was derived from space invention. Star-mapping, for example, enables doctors to detect cancer in the early stages and provide immediate treatment to patient.

By contrast, some people think that the expenditure is desperately needed to tackle pressing problems like poverty and environmental issues. Most of humanity lives on just a few dollars a day, especially people in Africa. What governments can do is to use the resources to create new programs such as capital given to poor families to open a business, which leads to real impacts on their lives. Also, the devastating effects caused by climate change have had negative influences on agriculture. Rising temperatures is blamed for severe drought and land degradation hitting many areas in the world, which creates instability of food supply. The money therefore should be invested properly to cope with the recent concerns more than be spent in space research.

In conclusion, there are lots of urgent issues which needs a huge sum of money to deal with, but I agree with the continuation of space exploration due to its benefits to our lives.

EF_Carol - / 145  
Jun 5, 2015   #2
I don't think you should end your essay with one line. The conclusion should be at least three to four sentences,and should summarize your main points.

In conclusion...benefits to our lives.

What benefits? List or enumerate them for the reader, in order to firm up your point.

...enables doctors to detect cancer...

This is a good point and wonderful to know! Your argument really gets a great push from this benefit of space travel. I think that maybe 5his could make a whole paragraph, in itself, though. This would round out the essay to five paragraphs, more thorough and stronger writing. Two paragraphs, in favor, and one against lead to a conclusion in favor.

Good job on vocabulary and grammar! Basically, a well written essay. Just polish up the format, with 5he changes I suggested.

ef-carol


Home / Writing Feedback / Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳