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Spanking or No Spanking (argumentative essay)


joalex7 4 / 13  
Apr 20, 2012   #1
I am tasked with writing an Argumentive essay 3 pages, doubled spaced ect..
Below is my first draft and would like to know if I am on the right track..thanks in advance

The heated argument to use force to encourage a child to behave has been ongoing for centuries. Western society today is more modern displaying rights of all humans and the freedom to speak and express under the Constitution. However, many of the rights of children are still being denied due to parents still using parenting skills from the Dark Ages. Parents I have spoken with will tell me children have no rights. And because they were spanked, slapped and beat for any or all occurrence then it is alright for them to treat their children the same way. I was sitting at a restaurant with family eating dinner one day and one particular family member said, "Grammy thinks children has right but they don't", I was speak less for once. My granddaughter who was two years old at the time was sitting next to me and she was apparently ready to go to sleep. The parents didn't recognized that a child of this age gets tired and can't sit in a restaurant setting around 7'O'clock in the evening while adults drink and enjoy the conversation. She was restless and cranky and the parents thought she should sit and not complain. I eventually took her outside to calm her down. Many parents today believe that the only way to get their child to obey is to threaten them with harse words and physical action. As a parent professional I have witness some punishment against children that caused me many nights of not sleeping. In a store recently two children were playing with each other. The younger one hit the older child and vice versus. The mother was looking on the shelves and had her back to the children. When she turned around she saw the older child playfully hit the younger child again and slap the older child in the face. I stood and watched in awed. No, I didn't interfere with the mother, but so many times children are helpless victims and slowly can develop an aggressive behavior and withdrawn disposition.

Two very different views on this subject of whether you should hit, spank or use any form of corporal punishment that the parent deem necessary.

American Academy of Pediatrics an agency dedicated to the health of all children provides informative article regarding corporal punishment. One article in particular that caught my attention entitled "The Pediatrician and Corporal Punishment", by Morris A. Wessel. Wessel states, "The "spare the rod and spoil the child" philosophy is deeply ingrained in American child rearing. This allows-indeed encourages-many parents and other adults caring for children to spank or hit with the hand, belt, or paddle, or to force a child to stand for long periods of time or to institute other immoderate measures when disciplining seems to be necessary." "Spare the rod and spoil the child" has been taken to an all new level; child abuse has increased to an all high, many children dying at the hands of their caregiver or adult in charge of them.

Parents feel as though if spanking or beating of their child is taking from them they will have no control over their children. Parents and supporters of corporal punishments view an infringement on their right to discipline their children. In order, for parents or caregivers to ensure a healthy child rearing environment then they must be willing to give up the old ways and employed new and productive methods in disciplining children.

apoklypz 2 / 4  
Apr 21, 2012   #2
Overall I think you write very well, except that sometimes you miss out commas to pause the sentence briefly.

"And because they were spanked, slapped and beat for any or all occurrence" -> I think you are trying to say "And because they were spanked, slapped and beat when they were young "?

"I was speak less for once" - If you mean that you are unable to speak, then you should use "I was speechless or once"

"As a parent professional I have witness" -> "As a parent professional, I have witnessed "
"me many nights of not sleeping" -> "me many sleepless nights "
"In a store recently two children were playing with each other" -> "In a store recently, two children were playing with each other"

"slap the older child in the face" -> "slapped the older child in the face"
"I stood and watched in awed" -> "I stood and watched in awe "
"Parents feel as though if spanking or beating of their child is taking from them they will have no control over their children." -> "Parents feel as though if spanking or beating of their child is taken away from them, they will have no control over their children."

"and employed new and productive methods in disciplining children." -> "and employ new and productive methods in disciplining children."

Spelling mistakes
"harse" = "harsh"
OP joalex7 4 / 13  
Apr 23, 2012   #3
Thank you very much for your feedback. I will make the necessary correction.
Again thank you.


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