Unanswered [18] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


SPEND Vs SAVE; Most youngsters today are not hesitant to spend their money!


linh202 11 / 23  
Jul 28, 2011   #1
Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Most youngsters today are not hesitant to spend their money on luxurious things such as buying expensive clothes or going to bars. They just desire to satisfy themselves without seeing a disadvantage in lavishness. From my perspective, I encourage everybody to save money for their future because of three main crucial reasons.

First and foremost, education at the present is extremely costly. My school fees in ten years are paid by my parents whose income is approximately five hundred dollars a month. I detest becoming a burden on my family, so my savings assists me to tackle this aching problem. Furthermore, I no longer depend on my parents and even learn how to use money properly. More necessarily, I hope I will study abroad, so saving money now gives me an opportunity to fulfill my dream. Although the amount of money that I have saved is not big enough to buy a motorbike or build a house, I still feel happy and satisfied because I have capability of managing to solve some private problems related to money.

Admittedly, it is wise for people to save money to prepare for their married life thereafter. Many young couples presume that love and sympathy are the key to their marriage, but material needs are extremely indispensable. If you spend all the money you have earned during your single life, you will soon lack of money. As a result, your partner is unlikely to accept your proposal because she finds your economy unreliable and she does not want to take charge of earning a living alone. In contrast, having good finance allows you to set up a sustainable life with lots of comforts and more importantly, your partner totally feel satisfied with her married life.

Last but not least, I regularly assume that your savings improve not only your private life but also others' life. The Asian people always believe that the descendants have responsibility to look after their parents and grandparents when they are grown-up. For instance, my father often gives his parent money in the end of the month and in some occasions. This amount of money is not the most valuable thing to show his affection but at least, it assists my grandparent to better their life. What's more, I become absorbed in doing charity. Half of my savings is donated to the orphanage and central health. Never do I, therefore, feel despaired to what I have done.

In a nutshell, paying for school fees, initiating a married life and helping other people are undeniable and convincing reasons. I expect that people will be aware of the vitality of economy and discard all the luxurious habits.
lady nada - / 2  
Jul 28, 2011   #2
you will soon lack of money. there is something missing in the sentence. it may be better to say you will suffer a lack of money very soon.
aleafsun 9 / 19  
Jul 28, 2011   #3
Hey, Linh202,

I see your efforts through good conjunctions at every begining of every paragraph. There is just some comments below.

***************************************************************
First and foremost, education at the present is extremely costly. My school fees in ten years are paid by my parents whose income is approximately five hundred dollars a month. I detest becoming a burden on my family, so my savings assists me to tackle this aching problem.

****************************************************************I might revise them as "First and foremost, education at the present is extremely costly. In the past ten years, my tuition fees were paid by my parents whose incomes were only five hundred dollars a month. It was a penerating thing for me to become a burden on my family, so I scrimped to tackle this aching problem.

Best regards,
Aleaf


Home / Writing Feedback / SPEND Vs SAVE; Most youngsters today are not hesitant to spend their money!
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳