Ielts Writing Task 1: spending on three different telephone services in the USA

the history of sell phone, national, and international calls expenditures

The line chart illustrates spending on three different services , namely cell phone , national and international fixed-line services by American over the period of 10 years

Overall, there was an upward trend in the amount of money spent on mobile phone and international fixed-line services while the figure for national fixed-line services decreased subtantially.

In 2001, well over $700 in America were spent on national fixed-line services compared to just 250 and merely 200 dollars on international fixed-line services and cell phone respectively. Over the next 6 years , America witnessed a considerable rise of over $300 in the amount of money spent on cell phone and this figure took over that of national fixed-line services

From 2006 to 2010, spending on national fixed-line services declined significantly and the figure hit the lowest point at approximately $400 in 2010. By contrast, the figure mobile phone climbed constantly and reached a peak at nearly $800 in the same year. By 2010, the amount of money spent on international fixed-line services had remained unchanged at roughly $300

• 
  
  

You forgot to include the inclusive years of the graph, in the overview summary. This means that your summary overview is incomplete and the reader will have difficulty following your presentation.

There is also a false assumption on your part, which led to an error in your data presentation. If you study the actual graph, there is no country indicated. Therefore, saying that the information is based on USA records and sources is incorrect. When no country is indicated, you do not need to indicate one in your report. A general reference can be made instead. You cannot assume that the dollar value automatically represents the United States as there are other dollar values such as the Canadian dollar, Hong Kong dollar, etc. It is best to stay vague when referencing these data since it could create an error in your reporting. Simply saying "undisclosed country" would have been more helpful to your score.

While your essay contains most of the information from the chart, you failed to represent the overlapping information twice in the discussion. This occurred for the years 2002 and 2006. A quick glance at the chart highlighted that information. So it should have been presented in the essay as equal spending for the given overlapping sectors.

Basically, you could have done more comparative discussions in the essay as the lines overlap and slightly overtake each other during certain year presentations. While this presentation is acceptable and will receive an acceptable score, you could have done more to get a higher than average score.