SPORT CHAMPIONS ARE COMMERCIALIZED THESE DAYS

Sport is a big business and today

Topic: In the past, sporting champions used to be motivated primarily by the desire to win a match or to break world records. These days, they are more likely to be motivated by prize money and the opportunity to be famous. What message does this send to young people and how does this attitude to sport affect the sports themselves? Write an essay within 300 words on the topic above.

Answer:
Having throwback to the bygone days, it could be seen that sports competitions aimed to enhance sportsmanship and set a new world record rather than rewarding prizes and self-reputation. This essay will present the influence of this phenomenon on the young generation as well as the whole world of sports.

To commence with, sports matches had been special occasions on which athletes put enormous efforts to taste victory and reach a gold medal. Thus they were deemed ideal models of constancy and non-stop trying among teenagers. For instance, sportsmanship not only brightened up children who are disabled or suffering from serious mental problems but motivated them to make their dreams come true as well.

Contrary to these days, people invariably take notice of a great amount of money that winners and runner-ups reward after a sports league. As a result, their luxurious and flashy lives are increasingly becoming the hottest and most controversial titles in the newspaper every day. Apparently, the original value of sports champions is gradually obliterated in people's mindset.

Moreover, the sports industry is being commercialized as the result of paying much higher salaries and satisfying demands for sports stars. Firstly, in order to have enough expenditure to afford normal activities, organizers have to boost their profit by forming leagues. Consequently, that ticket price is utterly increased and more and more commercial advertisements are added during the intervals of matches becomes usual. Therefore, it will lose audiences' interest in sports and make them under the misapprehension that enjoying sports is solely for the wealthy class. Also, we are accustomed to transference contracts related to athletes between influential clubs all over the world. Hence, players are getting more competitive and dominant rather than devoting the best performance for audiences so that they can achieve certain fame and merits.

In conclusion, sport commercialization leads to a bad outcome for both young people and sports themselves. It particularly worsens the figure of athletes and causes detrimental effects to this entertainment industry in the long term.

Do not use English phrases that will tend to confuse your reader or, appear to have incorrect grammar. Avoid using memorized, but incorrectly used phrases such as "Having throwback to the bygone days". You could have simply stated that; "Sports champions used to be..." For clarity purposes, always use topic sentences rather than long winded phrases that do not help to get a clear message across to the reader. Always remember than an essay must come with a thesis sentence at the end of the introductory paragraph. Therefor, rather than saying "This essay will present..." You should state the topic of the discussion clearly which is "The message that this sends to younger athletes is... which has affected their attitude for sports in a negative manner because..."

Do not commence anything. Simply continue the discussion. You will find that academic essays do not require the use of so many word fillers, and that it is easier to write the discussion when you focus only on the topic for discussion. Avoiding unnecessary word usage will help you get a better score. Had you focused on the actual academic clarity of the presentation instead of the word count, you would have avoided spelling, , as well as clarity and cohesion errors. All of which you neglected to find and correct in this essay that you wrote.