so this is my short story draft. there are seperate parts that will be connected in the last draft.
i'd love to hear your comments.
---------------------
"Dear Diary,
I have the worst job in the world. Forget all you've seen in the dirtiest jobs show; my job, certainly, is the dirtiest job in the history of jobs.
In this many years that I've been doing this job, I've tried to resign from it like a hundred times, but my boss, oh my boss... he never accepts. He has his own rules well.
This morning I asked for resignation once more.
I cant take it anymore, I'm tired of seeing their scared faces, of listening to them begging for their lives -for another chance- and I'm tired of rejecting them all, of being the heartless guy in all scenarios. I'm tired of hearing their families weeping...
I know that I shouldn't blame myself, 'cause I'm only doing my job, but sometimes I, too, feel sorry for those who I take their lives away...
It's funny but I keep wishing that my time comes sooner. I've seen enough deaths, now I want to touch it myself.
o' well, I have to go now, my pager light is on. urgh..Another mission. later."
-------
I put my black coat on and put the diary in my drawer. I didn't expect another mission this late at night, but well, as I was telling my diary; my boss has his own rules.
-------
I grab my tools and for the a millionth time in my life I wish that this would be the last mission.
-------
I don't know how is it going to happen this time; a blown up car? a blown up building? or dead with a knife standing in the chest? Or the most recent one; suicide?
------
I have a rather quick flight to my mission place.
--------
I was almost right about my mission; it is going to be a building on fire, close to my guess.
------
There are children inside; I can feel their beating lives, their enthusiasm for it. They are young people in it, building up their lives. And also there are old people in there, waiting for death; well, tonight is their lucky day.
-----
I wait outside the building till the appropriate time to arrive, while waiting I review my mission once more; 5 apartments out of 49 were going to get fire, and 65 people out of 416 were going to die. Quite fair.
------
My pager goes on again. There was a message waiting. I roll the screen down; it is from my boss's secretary. One familiar sentence "you resignation's not been accepted."
-----
anger flows into my blood; how could he do it again?
----
I groan madly, if that is the way he wants to ignore me after years and years of my faithful service, I have my way of being careless too.
-----
Soon the building is on fire, but I am not going to wait for fire to finish them. I myself will do it. One by one. I am not caring if this is not what it was planned, if its not what boss wants, and if its not what these people want.
Who cares about me?
-------
I finish them all sooner than I usually would do. I don't even know how many did I finish tonight. can't keep track of numbers when I'm angry.
---------
I sit next to the broken down building, and watch cops and firemen as they ran inside and outside building. I guess my face is just as much in pain as is everybody else's, 'cuz a fireman approaches me and asks if I'm ok, I shake my head, not to his question but to the greet I feel inside. "do you need help sir?" I shake my head again and get on my feet. time to walk away.
--------
I see people running for their lives. Not much far from me two men are trying to bring a woman back to life, I can smell their sweat, I can feel the life sweeping away from the woman's body. it won't be hard for me to take away their lives, all three of them. but enough lives been taken away tonight. my anger has ruined enough lives.
my pager goes on again. I'm summoned. I was expecting it... he would want to see me after all this. In my heart I wish that his anger will go out of his control and this time he finishes me, although I well know it won't happen. as I pass an open window I hear the news on tv "...356 people are reported dead till this moment. 65 deaths were caused by fire and the other...well, police hasn't found any reason for their deaths yet..." I don't wait to hear the rest.
----
a fast flight back home.
------
And another flight to his office.
It's all dark outside; I take off my coat and drop it on the floor. I don't bother to knock on the door for I know he already knows I'm standing behind his door. when I dare to look up I see him, smiling. "my dear friend, Samael." all my hopes vanishes as I see his calm smiling face. "hey God," I reply back his greetings. he looks at my face, and of course reads my thoughts "don't be disappointed. you know hope is..." I cut him and finish his word myself: "hope is the last thing to die. I know."
"you went mad again tonight, right? or its your counting skills? 65 and 356. its quite a big difference"
"what will happen to those I killed tonight?"
"I will, for sure, give them back the life they lost. I'll send them back to earth again."
"and their families?"
"I'll pay them back for this in heaven."
I stopped asking questions.
"are you still angry?" God asked, placing his arm around my shoulder. "not anymore. I'm perfectly in peace now. you know I cant be mad when I'm around you." I answered. he laughed "well, you're not the only one. I guess no one can."
"so what's up now? I'm fired?" I ask, knowing the answer.
"no my dear, you're not. we've got about a million more man-years to go and you are the one and only death angle I've got."
"God, stop saying that. we both know you can create thousands like me in a second."
God sighs. "so you want thousands more to suffer the way you do?"
I don't say anything. no, I don't, but I don't want to take away lives anymore either. God talks for me, just so I could hear my words "no you don't. but you don't want to take away lives either." he repeated my thoughts. "what is so wrong in taking lives away?" he asked. "what is not wrong with it God? They all hate me; you should see the look on their faces when I pull the life out of their bodies." God cuts me this time "I have seen them all. Every single look. You know that right?"
"right. you got that one. but besides that... you remember that one time -well it was more than one- but that one time that the guy -what was his name? Hitler?- he beat the shit outa me before he gives up his life?"
God laughed bitterly.
"yes, I do remember him very well." God's face fell. he didn't enjoy remembering those who have gave up their humanity before they give up the soul they almost didn't have any more, but soon he put a smile back on, "but you know every job has its own difficulties. Even being God." he paused and then continued; "I understand your pain and suffering, Samael, I really do. I swear to beauty of this night that I understand your pain, as I do understand a deer's pain when it has to give up her life to a lion's survival. or as I understand people's pain when they have to give up their beloved lives to death."
and so I give up arguing with him to the peace of silence. "why did you create death at all?" I ask.
"So there will be life." he answers.
"when mine will come to an end then?"
"soon, my dear, soon."
soon, yes, of course only a million other years.
Gods smiles at my thoughts, and starts humming a song; i close my eyes, and fall asleep in his arms - hoping that it would last forever.
i'd love to hear your comments.
---------------------
"Dear Diary,
I have the worst job in the world. Forget all you've seen in the dirtiest jobs show; my job, certainly, is the dirtiest job in the history of jobs.
In this many years that I've been doing this job, I've tried to resign from it like a hundred times, but my boss, oh my boss... he never accepts. He has his own rules well.
This morning I asked for resignation once more.
I cant take it anymore, I'm tired of seeing their scared faces, of listening to them begging for their lives -for another chance- and I'm tired of rejecting them all, of being the heartless guy in all scenarios. I'm tired of hearing their families weeping...
I know that I shouldn't blame myself, 'cause I'm only doing my job, but sometimes I, too, feel sorry for those who I take their lives away...
It's funny but I keep wishing that my time comes sooner. I've seen enough deaths, now I want to touch it myself.
o' well, I have to go now, my pager light is on. urgh..Another mission. later."
-------
I put my black coat on and put the diary in my drawer. I didn't expect another mission this late at night, but well, as I was telling my diary; my boss has his own rules.
-------
I grab my tools and for the a millionth time in my life I wish that this would be the last mission.
-------
I don't know how is it going to happen this time; a blown up car? a blown up building? or dead with a knife standing in the chest? Or the most recent one; suicide?
------
I have a rather quick flight to my mission place.
--------
I was almost right about my mission; it is going to be a building on fire, close to my guess.
------
There are children inside; I can feel their beating lives, their enthusiasm for it. They are young people in it, building up their lives. And also there are old people in there, waiting for death; well, tonight is their lucky day.
-----
I wait outside the building till the appropriate time to arrive, while waiting I review my mission once more; 5 apartments out of 49 were going to get fire, and 65 people out of 416 were going to die. Quite fair.
------
My pager goes on again. There was a message waiting. I roll the screen down; it is from my boss's secretary. One familiar sentence "you resignation's not been accepted."
-----
anger flows into my blood; how could he do it again?
----
I groan madly, if that is the way he wants to ignore me after years and years of my faithful service, I have my way of being careless too.
-----
Soon the building is on fire, but I am not going to wait for fire to finish them. I myself will do it. One by one. I am not caring if this is not what it was planned, if its not what boss wants, and if its not what these people want.
Who cares about me?
-------
I finish them all sooner than I usually would do. I don't even know how many did I finish tonight. can't keep track of numbers when I'm angry.
---------
I sit next to the broken down building, and watch cops and firemen as they ran inside and outside building. I guess my face is just as much in pain as is everybody else's, 'cuz a fireman approaches me and asks if I'm ok, I shake my head, not to his question but to the greet I feel inside. "do you need help sir?" I shake my head again and get on my feet. time to walk away.
--------
I see people running for their lives. Not much far from me two men are trying to bring a woman back to life, I can smell their sweat, I can feel the life sweeping away from the woman's body. it won't be hard for me to take away their lives, all three of them. but enough lives been taken away tonight. my anger has ruined enough lives.
my pager goes on again. I'm summoned. I was expecting it... he would want to see me after all this. In my heart I wish that his anger will go out of his control and this time he finishes me, although I well know it won't happen. as I pass an open window I hear the news on tv "...356 people are reported dead till this moment. 65 deaths were caused by fire and the other...well, police hasn't found any reason for their deaths yet..." I don't wait to hear the rest.
----
a fast flight back home.
------
And another flight to his office.
It's all dark outside; I take off my coat and drop it on the floor. I don't bother to knock on the door for I know he already knows I'm standing behind his door. when I dare to look up I see him, smiling. "my dear friend, Samael." all my hopes vanishes as I see his calm smiling face. "hey God," I reply back his greetings. he looks at my face, and of course reads my thoughts "don't be disappointed. you know hope is..." I cut him and finish his word myself: "hope is the last thing to die. I know."
"you went mad again tonight, right? or its your counting skills? 65 and 356. its quite a big difference"
"what will happen to those I killed tonight?"
"I will, for sure, give them back the life they lost. I'll send them back to earth again."
"and their families?"
"I'll pay them back for this in heaven."
I stopped asking questions.
"are you still angry?" God asked, placing his arm around my shoulder. "not anymore. I'm perfectly in peace now. you know I cant be mad when I'm around you." I answered. he laughed "well, you're not the only one. I guess no one can."
"so what's up now? I'm fired?" I ask, knowing the answer.
"no my dear, you're not. we've got about a million more man-years to go and you are the one and only death angle I've got."
"God, stop saying that. we both know you can create thousands like me in a second."
God sighs. "so you want thousands more to suffer the way you do?"
I don't say anything. no, I don't, but I don't want to take away lives anymore either. God talks for me, just so I could hear my words "no you don't. but you don't want to take away lives either." he repeated my thoughts. "what is so wrong in taking lives away?" he asked. "what is not wrong with it God? They all hate me; you should see the look on their faces when I pull the life out of their bodies." God cuts me this time "I have seen them all. Every single look. You know that right?"
"right. you got that one. but besides that... you remember that one time -well it was more than one- but that one time that the guy -what was his name? Hitler?- he beat the shit outa me before he gives up his life?"
God laughed bitterly.
"yes, I do remember him very well." God's face fell. he didn't enjoy remembering those who have gave up their humanity before they give up the soul they almost didn't have any more, but soon he put a smile back on, "but you know every job has its own difficulties. Even being God." he paused and then continued; "I understand your pain and suffering, Samael, I really do. I swear to beauty of this night that I understand your pain, as I do understand a deer's pain when it has to give up her life to a lion's survival. or as I understand people's pain when they have to give up their beloved lives to death."
and so I give up arguing with him to the peace of silence. "why did you create death at all?" I ask.
"So there will be life." he answers.
"when mine will come to an end then?"
"soon, my dear, soon."
soon, yes, of course only a million other years.
Gods smiles at my thoughts, and starts humming a song; i close my eyes, and fall asleep in his arms - hoping that it would last forever.