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Students have more opportunities to study in other countries, but they may struggle with problems


Hary01 12 / 13 2  
Aug 29, 2016   #1
Task 2
In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country.
Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence


Education is a pivotal need to live in modern world. The importance of education can be seen in the light how governments across the globe allocate particular fund for education by providing scholarships. Students have more opportunity to study in other country. Undoubtedly, studying abroad has its advantages and disadvantages. I will discuss in the following paragraphs.

There are several problems will occur when students studying abroad, it means that they also come with disadvantages. First one, language is the common barrier in communicating. Communication will be so hard when people do not speak with same language. It would be embarrassing when people misunderstanding and get lost in translation. Second, adapting to a new environment is a real challenge for every foreign student. While changing the weather can affect for the health, different cultures and customs may influence student mind and make them become less confident. If students do not have enough physical and mental strength, they will fail to adapt in the new circumstances. As a result, they could neither study nor gain beautiful experiences.

However, studying overseas also has many advantages. First one, student have chance to improve foreign language. It is better to learn language with the native speakers because they can practice every day. It is very useful to improve listening and speaking skills. Second, students have opportunities to study the new technologies and most recent science achievements. In other words, students might find the best educational system which is most suitable for them. For instance, Netherland is a country leading in agricultural research throughout the world. The modern labs and facilities support every student necessity. As a result, students would get more deep knowledge and experience.

To sum up, taking a chair overseas will struggle with language, culture, and other problems. It is more likely for people to enhance their knowledge and experience. To support this, students should prepare properly with adequate information regarding to destination country, university, program and others.

eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,198 464  
Aug 30, 2016   #2
Education is a pivotal need to live in modern world.

this is a good hook and relevant to the topic, but such a hook does not bring any value and is common to find in IELTS/ TOEFL essays. I suggest omitting it and going straight to the background information.

The importance of education can be seen in the light how governments across the globe allocate particular fund for education by providing scholarships

The prompt does not discuss how government provides some scholarships to their citizen. Therefore, this part is 100% off-topic. Presenting off-topic idea will deduct your score below 5.

I will discuss in the following paragraphs.

Again, thousand students write this template sentence and this will drop you score. You have create another powerful sentence as your claim.

Since this essay does not answer the prompt, rewrite all the parts in this essay. Otherwise, your score still ranges between 4 and 5.
ekalamarsyari11 72 / 108 9  
Aug 30, 2016   #3
i agree with Mr. Eddie that you should make your background fact more relevant to the topic given by question.

i think your first body paragraph explain more about problems faced by students who study abroad. Therefore, i can not really understand what do you mean about disadvantages.

i would like to give you these idea to rewrite your first body paragraph:
- different language can limit students access to extended information
- difficulty to adjust with local people may make them can not socialize well so that lead them to be stressful


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