Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


students of school age should be allowed to use cellphone



minhdang 2 / 2  
Jul 4, 2013   #1
Topic: Should students of school age be allowed to use cellphone?
Intro:
Nowadays, the emergence of telephone have significantly changed people's life, it makes life much easier. Telephone is now being changed overtime and has developed in a new type of phone which is cellphone. Cellphone nowadays is very popular due to it convinient and usefulness. I think cellphone should be allowed to students of school age for some reasons as follows.

Body:
First, cellphone is a very useful mean of communication. It is needed in situations you need to contact someone immediately. For example, when you forget your notebook at home and you can't go get it at the moment, you just need to call someone at home and ask them to bring it to you. It is very convinient in many ways. Furthermore, it is also an efficient study tool. Cellphone is also very useful for this. You can use your cellphone as a dictionary when you see a new word. Or when you see a long math problem, you can also use your cellphone as a calculator. Cellphone can help you a lot in studying. Finally, cellphone is a very entertaining tool. There are a lot of things you can do using cellphones. You can download applications into your cellphone, listening to music or even access to the internet. There are many ways to entertain using your cellphone.

Conclusion:
In conclusion, i think students of school age should be allowed to use cellphone. Cellphone is a very useful tool for students, it would be a waste if they are not allowed to use them.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jul 4, 2013   #2
First, I request you to add a meaningful topic for your essay when you open a new thread (type a meaningful topic in the "subject" field). It helps you earn good feed backs.

Nowadays, the emergence of telephone have significantly changed people's life, it makes life much easier.

Telephone has been there for a quite long time... specify that it is the cellphone you talk about.
Well, in the introduction you should introduce your prompt to the reader. Then you should state your position regarding the argument.

Telephone is now being changed overtime and has developed in a new type of phone which is cellphone.

.... this does not sound a strong sentence.
You need to improve on essay structure too.


Home / Writing Feedback / students of school age should be allowed to use cellphone
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳