kogikothe 1 / - Aug 15, 2012 #1Hi, This's the first time I have posted a thread.Thanks for your advance!Request you to please check my essay and correct it. Any suggestions appreciated.The forests have been destroyed so serious.What suggestion do you have to improve this situation?Nowadays, the environment is seriously damaged. It's the consequence of industrial development. That leads to destruction of ecosystems and climate-imbalance. Forest is one of the most ecosystems that are devastated.Forest is considered as green lung of Earth, tree creates oxigen by photosynthesis, the origin of life. It's also the house of many animals. But now, section of forest has narrowed day by day. This's the consequence of population exploration and heavy industry growth. Human exploit woods but not give back.The conservation of forest is very important. We should restrict the use of timber products, saving energy... and particular we have to increase human consciousness. We must accuse and oppose the actions which destroy forest. Beside, we have to plant trees on the bald hill...Therefore, you and me, we have a responsibility to forest. Save forest, save your life!
April April 13 / 148 22 Aug 15, 2012 #2Hi Linh,This essay has a few problems:- In the intro, you need to address what this essay will do, for example: This essay will put forward some solutions to tackle the problem.- It's underlength. An ielts essay must have at least 250 words, while yours has only 143 words.- Your body didn't thoroughly answer the question. The first few sentences were not to the point and relevant. You should have at least two body paragraphs, each has 1 main idea (which is 1 suggestion), and you have to elaborate on that idea using reasons (why you think that suggestion is useful) and examples.- Don't use contractions. For example, write IT IS instead of IT'S.- In the conclusion, you need to paraphrase the rubric, and summarise your ideas.Best
