Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


IELTS Summary Task BlackBerry's Rise and Fall in 10 Phones



Dioba 68 / 97  
Sep 29, 2016   #1
The era of BlackBerry has end. BlackBerry company officially announced would stop designing and producing its own product. The major reason for BlackBerry's stopped is iPhone changed everything with their numerous of innovation and BlackBerry was too slow to adapt with it. To face the future, BlackBerry itself will live as a software and services provider. Nowadays, BlackBerry was made the most revenue from software, it is contrary from the past. The software business holds nearly as many challenges today as hardware did a decade ago. Furthermore, it may be difficult to remember in 2016, but BlackBerry was once not just a dominant force, but the most innovative company, with handsets beloved by businesses, politicians, and fast-typists in the past. The behavior of the business it is chasing is evolving rapidly, with strong new competitors coming in. BlackBerry is not starting from dominant position this time around, so it is less vulnerable to that sort of disruption, but it is not going to be an easy way.

Afdhel 14 / 19  
Sep 29, 2016   #2
Hi Dioba, I want to give u suggests. I hope u can improve your english

The era of BlackBerry has ended

The behavior of the business it is chasing is evolving rapidly, (Redundancy. You must erase one of them namely behavior or the business or it)

Keep writing, good luck. Study deeply in grammar.. I hope you can do it.
sasariri 17 / 22  
Sep 30, 2016   #3
Hi Dioba..
Let me give you some advice..

The era of BlackBerry has ended . BlackBerry company officially announced that they would stop designing ...
The major reason for BlackBerry's stopped is iPhone changed everything ...

... to remember in 2016,but BlackBerry was once (...) force, but the most innovative company, ...

The behavior of the business it is chasing is evolving rapidly ,you should choose one of them with strong new ...

I hope it is helpful..
Fitri12 28 / 50  
Oct 1, 2016   #4
Hi Dioba... Sharing is fun, right? Thus, it's my pleasure to share my thoughts regarding your writing.

The era of BlackBerry has end. (has ended)

Sorry to say, the flow of your Writing, in fact, so confusing as well as its sense of meaning.

Thank you.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Summary Task BlackBerry's Rise and Fall in 10 Phones
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳