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Summary TED_How mobile phones can fight poverty


David54 15 / 22 1  
Sep 21, 2016   #1
Iqbal Quadir, as founder of Grameen Phone, a commercial telecom services company. In 1971, as a child who grew in Bangladesh, he had to walk half a day to another village to find the doctor and he was not there. Several years later he felt the same frustration while working at a New York bank as an investment banker, using floppy disks to share information during a computer network break down. Finally, he found an idea of both cases, connectivity is productivity. Partnering with microcredit pioneer Grameen Bank then he establishing Grameen Phone, a wireless operator now offering phone services to 80 million in rural Bangladeshi. There are three impact of phones, Quadir said. "They provide business opportunities, connect the village to the world, and generate over time a culture of entrepreneurship, which is crucial for any economic development."

Fitri12 28 / 53 6  
Sep 21, 2016   #2
Hi David... sharing is fun, right? the following is my humble suggestion regarding your writing. Feel free to post feedback on my thread, as well.

- Iqbal Quadir (Subject), as founder of Grameen Phone (complementary of the Subject), a commercial telecom services company (still as complementary of the Subject). your sentence, if we can call it as a sentence, is incomplete, since it has only Subject

I think you have a capability in composing words, keep practicing!
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Sep 22, 2016   #3
Iqbal Quadir, as founder of Grameen Phone, a commercial telecom services company.

there is no verb in this sentence
Iqbal Quadir is a founder of Grameen Phone, ........ company.

In 1971, as a child who grewgrowing up in Bangladesh, (...) to another village in order to find theA doctor and he just for fail

... pioneer Grameen Bank then he establishinghas established Grameen Phone, a wireless operatorthat now is offering phone services to 80 million people in rural Bangladesh.

There are three impact of phones,

there are three beneficial effects of those phones,

it is good that you inserted a quotation to strongly close or end your summary. however, you still need to concern about sentence structure and sense/function of your writing. keep writing and good luck


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