... of the most fearless
WOMEN who became (...), haD just returned 19 years old / as a 19 year young girl.name is a subtle information, in this summary you misspelled or wrote it wrong from 'Eman' to 'Erman'. thus, for some societies it will be a little bit odd or confusing since 'Erman' usually refers to man rather than woman.
... stories to the world [too simple
]. She described her challenging
by stating that ...\
Due to themale-dominated field
[without further information, it is clear that this occupation commonly or acceptably done by man
] which stated clearly that the woman must not do the man's job.you may simply write like this, simpler, more effective but still a complex structureshe shared her amazing stories to the world as she described her challenging career by stating that her presence as the only one woman was unacceptable on that male-dominating field.
She also has considered a serious insult to local traditionthe flow is a quite hard to follow here since you mention 'also'
At that time,
THEY [effectively use pronouns to avoid repetition
] were faced a double-war-drawbacks ...It inspired her deeply.[too simple]
that moment, she
payinghas paid a
closer attention ...that's all on this time that i hope will enhance your writing skill. keep summarizing and keep improving your work