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TED SUMMARY: The Courage To Tell A Hidden Story by Erman Mohammed


Iedha01 21 / 40  
Sep 26, 2016   #1
Erman Mohammed is one of the most fearless woman who became the first photojournalist in Gaza Strip Palestine at a very young age, has just returned 19 years old. She shared her amazing stories to the world. She described her challenging carer by stating that her presence as the only one woman journalist was unacceptable. Due to the male-dominated field which stated clearly that the woman must not do the man's job. She also has considered a serious insult to local tradition. Moreover, a perception of women in Gaza is totally passive. Until a recent time, a lot of women are not allowed to work and pursue education. At that time, women were faced a double-war-drawbacks including social women restrictions and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. It inspired her deeply. Started that moment, she paying closer attention to women's life in Gaza. She told the audiences that beyond on the clear evidence and struggle, there were a safe and sound, smiles and also a proud achievement. Then, She closed her presentation by saying this meaningful and motivated sentence "my work is not meant to hide the scars of war, but to show the full-frame of unseen stories of Gazzans.

RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Sep 26, 2016   #2
... of the most fearless woman WOMEN who became (...), haD just returned 19 years old / as a 19 year young girl.
name is a subtle information, in this summary you misspelled or wrote it wrong from 'Eman' to 'Erman'. thus, for some societies it will be a little bit odd or confusing since 'Erman' usually refers to man rather than woman.

... stories to the world [too simple ]. She described her challenging carercareer by stating that ...\
Due to themale-dominated field [without further information, it is clear that this occupation commonly or acceptably done by man] which stated clearly that the woman must not do the man's job.

you may simply write like this, simpler, more effective but still a complex structure
she shared her amazing stories to the world as she described her challenging career by stating that her presence as the only one woman was unacceptable on that male-dominating field.

She also has considered a serious insult to local tradition

the flow is a quite hard to follow here since you mention 'also'

At that time, women THEY [effectively use pronouns to avoid repetition] were faced a double-war-drawbacks ...

It inspired her deeply.[too simple] Started AT that moment, she payinghas paid a closer attention ...

that's all on this time that i hope will enhance your writing skill. keep summarizing and keep improving your work


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