Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


Summary 7: Hula Dancing in Hawaiian Culture



erwiin 5 / 10  
Sep 21, 2016   #1
Hawaii is a group of islands which be located in the Pacific Ocean. Hula Dance has been part of Hawaiian culture and its styles have changed over time. Hawaiian mythology includes the stories Hula Dance. In fact, Hula Dance is an ancient tradition that it is impossible to say where or when it first appeared. It performed near of an altar in honor of Hawaiian gods. There were many changes to Hawaiian society after Captain James Cook's visited. King David Kalakaua is credited with reviving Hula Dance in the late nineteenth century. Hawaiian cultural festival was established to attract more tourists. This festival organized competition Hula Dances, Hula Kahiko is known as an Ancient Hula Dance and Hula Auana is known as a Modern Hula Dance. Currently, Hula Dance has attracted the interest of people from outside the Hawaii islands, and many Hula Dance school can be found in many parts of the world.

rosadesiana 38 / 38  
Sep 21, 2016   #2
Hi, erwiin
you have done a good job please check my suggestions..

Hawaii is a group of islands which be located in the Pacific Ocean

Hula Dance has been a part of Hawaiian culture

In fact, Hula Dance is an ancient tradition that it is impossible to say where or when it first appeared.which the research did not identified when it found.

keep wriitng !!
Jawa 11 / 17  
Sep 21, 2016   #3
hi... erwiin
let me try to give you some corrections

Hawaii is a group of islands which be located in ...

Noted, the word "be" cannot be utilized as an auxiliary verb

Hula Kahiko is known as an Ancient Hula ... Currently, Hula Dance has attracted ...

this sentence leads to misunderstanding since the structure is a complex.

hope this helps,
thanks,
almajidpamngks12 - / 1  
Sep 21, 2016   #4
hallo brother erwin ...
let me give some correction for you ..

1.Hawaii is a group of islands which be ( use "is" )located
2. Hula Dance has been( use article "a" brother..) part of Hawaiian culture and
3. Hula Dance is an ancient tradition that it is impossible to say
4. There were many changes to ( use preposition "in" brother) Hawaiian society
5. It performed near of an altar in honor of Hawaiian gods
6. Hawaiian cultural festival ( where is head sentence ? ) (cultural festival in hawaiian)
Dioba 68 / 97  
Sep 21, 2016   #5
Hi erwin,after reading your summary, i have some suggestions, perhaps usefull for you.
1. "which be located in the Pacific Ocean"----> which is or in which
2. "its styles have changed over time."-----> it is
3. you need to put some conjunction in some sentence to make it connect for one sentence to each other, and make it fascinate (ex:furthermore, although, eventhough, etc)


Home / Writing Feedback / Summary 7: Hula Dancing in Hawaiian Culture
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳