Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


TED Summary Joshua Prager Wisdom from great writers on every year of life



Dioba 68 / 97  
Nov 14, 2016   #1
Based on the Armies of the Night, a book was created by Norman Mailer in 1968, he said that aged 44 is the age which someone was a rigid embodiment of bone, muscle, heart, mind, sentiment to be a man. Still on the same book, Thomas Mann also said that in that age, a man steps out of the darkness and wasteland of preparation into active life. Because of that reason, Joshua Prager, as a TED speaker, feels his birthday in April will become a tremendously good year. In this chance, he tries to tell us about wisdom from great writers on each year of human life. He argue that every writers want to share their precious experience based on their life. For illustrate, Thomas Mann in his book entitled Joseph and his Brothers, he said that it will happen to him as to them. It means that every people will face same moment along of their life. Book also tells us who we are and who will be to. Similar with James Salter book's entitled Burning the Days, he said life passes into pages if it passes into anything. In the other word, every people will pass every step in their life. The last, William Trevor book's entitled The Love Department said you are thirty-seven. It's an age of discretion. All of them is quotes from greater writers, to teach every people about life.

ichanpants89 16 / 742  
Nov 14, 2016   #2
Hi Dioba,

- ... by Norman Mailer in 1968. (stop here, new sentence)He said that aged 44 years old is the age which someone wasis a rigid embodiment of bone... (mentioning facts should be in present form)

- ..., Joshua Prager, as a TED speaker, feels his (...) a tremendously goodamazing year. (C1 + B2 level of word is quite imbalance I think)
- In this chance,Hetries totells us about wisdom from... (He isn't trying to tell but he tells something I guess)
- He argues that every writerswriter wants to share their...
- ForTo illustrate, (...) and his Brothers, he said that it will happen to him. as to them
- ... we are and who we will be to .
- Similar withto James Salter...
- In the other wordother words ,...
- The lastLastly/Finally/Eventually, William Trevor (...) Love Department said that if you are thirty-seven, it is an age of discretion.
- All of them isarequotesquotations from greater writers, to teach every people about life.

Some alterations have been given briefly, I hope you can consider this as a helpful message. Keep practicing :)
alfinkurnia 33 / 42  
Nov 14, 2016   #3
hello dioba, I give this correction for you

Based on the armies of the night , a book was (...), he said that 44 years old is the age which (...), heart, mind, and sentiment to be amen .

..., feels his birthday on April will became a tremendously good year.

Thanks


Home / Writing Feedback / TED Summary Joshua Prager Wisdom from great writers on every year of life
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳