TABLE - TEFL and Cambridge UCLES CELTA & other degrees for students living in the UK

Hi everyone, Im Patric a new IELTS takers in essay forum. I still need your input and criticism, so feel free to coment and suggest!

Thanks in advance.

The table below shows the number of students living in the UK gaining English language teacher training qualifications in 2007/8 and 2008/9, and the proportion of male qualifiers.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The represented table reveals information about the total amount of students in United Kingdom who acquired English language teacher training in 2007/2008 and 2008/2009, with male as their focus point. It is noticeable that the male rate for TEFL and Cambridge UCLES CELTA & other degrees in 2007/2008 were slightly higher, compared to the following year.

At the beginning, in the period 2007/2008, the number of male students in TEFL was 6,870, which experienced a small decline to 6,545 in the next year. Cambridge also had a similar case, where they experienced a small decline from 17,3% to 12,1%, in 2008/2009.

However, the number of females students in TEFL and Cambridge UCLES CELTA & other degrees remained steady in two years, whereas the number of females in TEFL was three times than Cambridge UCLES CELTA & other degrees. As the fact remained, despite the total participants remained stable in two years, it was clearly seen that the number of females surpassed the males, in both subjects

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Hi patric,

i think its better for you ti have 3 sentences in one paragraph, what i see in your 2nd paragraph its only contain 2 sentences, it will better if you add more information there.

As the fact remained(i think its better not to use the sampe word) , despite the total participants remained ...

There you have it patric, I hope the corrections and insights help you with the revision of your analysis.
As you can see, the modifications are quiet minor, however, it will definitely help you in coming up with a stronger essay. keep learning together!

Hi Patric, below are my suggestions to your analysis.

- The represented table reveals information
- about the total amountcount ( I believe this word is more applicable in the idea you are trying to convey in your sentence) - male as their focus point( this word is not necessary ) .

- AtIn the beginning, inof - the period 2007/2008 ( we have established the period we are referring to, so the emphasis is already given ),
- whichthat experienced
- a smallshort decline t

There you have it Patric, I took the first 2 paragraphs of the analysis, so you can see the revision and the suggested corrections, this way you can also make the necessary changes for the remaining part of the analysis. Remember. be cautious with the verb forms, the words you choose and your overall sentence construction as this greatly affects the idea and the understanding you have of the table and don't forget to post the revised analysis soon.