Talent vs hard wordk - IELTS 2

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sportsperson or musician.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is thought that while some individuals have the natural capability in some fields including sports and music, other people do not. Additionally, it is believed by some that those talents could be taught to all young children. Both viewpoints are reasonable, but I strongly lean toward the former.

On the one hand, it is understandable why some people think that children can learn to be professional sportspeople or virtuosos. Firstly, young children have sensitive minds. This means they could adapt to what they learn quickly and could be trained to be proficient in that field. In addition, a passion for sports or music could appear when they grow up. When someone is keen on something, they might pursue it by all their efforts. Therefore, a lot of children try to achieve their favorites and be successful.

On the other hand, I am convinced that good skills in sport or music are gifted. Firstly, some children inherit good capacity in sport and music from their parents. This is because the effect of family genetics is quite high, not only in appearance but also in skills. Secondly, many famous sportspeople and virtuosos shared that they could play sports or instrument devices or sing well when they were young. Take Phuong My Chi as an example, she has been famous from a very young age for her beautiful voice and her talents in music which has made her become a singer being admired by people in every region. As a result, most people have beliefs in innate genius humans.

In conclusion, while good skills in music or sports could be taught to any child, talents are exhibited when people are born, I strongly believe that it exhibits when they are born.

You should have skipped this mention in this sentence because it created a redundancy in the succeeding sentence where you presented the same idea, in a clearer manner. You must subscribe to the English writing rule of thumb which is one idea should be presented in every sentence.


Just like the previous sentences, your opinion sentence should close the paragraph with a simple thesis statement to support your opinion, even though it aligns with a previous statement from the original prompt.


You cannot use your personal point of view immediately. You have to represent an explanation of the public opinion that you are supporting first. That way you can create a stand alone, but strong paragraph that ties in your opinion with the public opinion.

The conclusion is incorrectly presented. You need to use 2 sentences with at least 40 words that represent the reverse paraphrase of the preceding discussion.

Speaking as someone who took IELTS just a year ago, I think you could improve the writing by expanding more about your arguments. Give concrete example in each argument both negative or positive and also use third PoV for the arguments. You can use your PoV at the conclusion and opening only.