TELEVISION AND ITS advantages - it's very useful device

Television is a good thing, because it gives people enjoyment and keeps them informed as well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The idea that watching television causes waste the time at the first glance may seem true. Nevertheless, television can entertain people and give them a great deal of up to data about many field of science, society and life. In this essay, I will explain television has many advantages for different individuals.

To begin with, television makes different age groups have huge amount of fun. Various TV programs are shown to refresh people in their spare time. After work or long study, individuals need a break to get energy for the rest of day. What is more, television can be useful for elderly people and early young children who have several free time.

Advertisement between some different TV programs can introduce some new products. These days people are very busy and cannot spend huge amount of their time to have window shopping. By watching some advertisements, they get information. For example, some retailers sell the products which are advertised in satellite TV programs, because sellers know people are encouraged to buy these new products.

Moreover, news shows can report some different big events around world and some local events. Some citizens watch news reports regularly to know about some happens, including festival, new facilities and some government announcement. National television channels in different societies are valid source of information.

In conclusion, television is a useful tools for variety peruses. People watch television for entertainment in free time or break period.
Adults can gain information about some happens in their society or world by watching some news reports. Advertisement between TV programs can introduce new products to citizens for better purchasing.

Annatef, I am not sure why you are discussing a topic that the prompt is not asking you to discuss. Your introductory statement alone immediately tells the examiner that, even though you read the prompt, you did not understand what you are being asked to discuss. If you read the prompt again, there is nothing there that mentions television as being a waste of time. Neither does it say that the television is only meant to entertain people or give them up to date information. A discussion about the advantages of television is also not on the table as part of the discussion. So, just by your first paragraph alone, the examiner can decide that you have failed the test. There is a clear lack of comprehension on your part so the whole response development that you used is definitely wrong.

As the prompt indicates; "Television is a good thing, because it gives people enjoyment and keeps them informed as well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?" Therefore, the default point of view here is that "Television is good." So you have to argue as to whether you agree or not with the statement. The opening paragraph should therefore be more along the lines of :

Some people argue that television is a bad thing because it only shows us the news about things happening in the world, violent television shows that criminals and people with bad intentions imitate, and reality shows that teach us to just always have fights with the people around us. However, that is not all that television does. Television actually presents us with some good, positive, and life enhancing information and shows as well. My essay will present evidence to support my agreement with the given statement that "Television is a good thing."

A simple and quick fix of your opening statement immediately makes the rest of your fall into place because your line of reasoning supports the prompt. So the real problem with your essay is solely focused in your misstated introduction. You have to keep in mind that the first paragraph should accurately restate the prompt and present an overview of your discussion either in agreement or disagreement with the given instruction. Only then will the essay be judged or graded properly.

I have read actual examiner reviews that detail the mistakes made by the examinee which led to his failure or passing of his exam. Most of the problems for the failed exam takers focus on the biggest problem that seem to exist for most of them, understanding the question. My advice is that you focus some of your energy on English comprehension exercises. These will help you improve your understanding of the English language and also offer you the opportunity to practice your comprehension skills on non exam related content.

Actually I feel like your Essay is informal and out of the topic (The question )

I am not an expert on correcting essays but here goes nothing .
In conclusion, television are useful devices for many reasons . People watch television for entertaining in free time or break periods. Adults can gain information on what's happening in their society or world by watching some news reports.Advertisement between each TV programs can introduce new products to viewers for better purchasing.

I think you can just improve this conclusion by adding more details and supporting ideas to get a better answer for that questions .

hope this could help -.-

Sincerely,

Mai_chan

television can entertain people and give them a great deal of up to data about many field of science, society and life. In this essay, I will explain television has many advantages for different individuals. make clear your introduction where you position, and the generally reason why you agree or disagree.

here the common pattern:

this essay will discuss several demerits from the TV, such us...and...

spend A huge

please make clear your statement, with scientific facts in order to make strong your ideas. the contain of your essay overall explain not clear,
i mean, where your drawbacks of TV, because you said there are disadvantages of it.

if you get question like this, while your position disagree about this topic, you should put opinion with the aagree statement.

good luck.