Ielts writing test 1. Cement and concrete production diagrams. Ielts8

The two diagrams illustrate in an elementary form, from start to finish, how both cement and concrete are produced using varies raw materials, their percentages required, and specific machinery and mixing techniques.

The first diagram, cement production, is set in motion by adding Limestone and clay to the crusher with the result then being transferred to the mixer. After this process, the mixture is then sent through the rotating heater, resulting in a product which is then grinded to produce the desired outcome of cement. The cement is ready to be bagged.

The second diagram,although easier in it's process, uses many more materials in it's making. Gravel 50% (small stones) and sand 25% are added to the concrete mixer, with Cement and water 15% and 10% respectively, making up the balance required for the production of concrete illustrated in the diagram. This balanced mixture is then rotated in a clockwise direction.

In summarizing, while the production of cement requires only half the amount of raw materials used to make concrete. Its requires a lot more machinery and processes to produce.Furthermore, although the production of concrete is simple in its process, the percentage of raw materials to be added to said process is to be strictly adhered too.

Can someone please tell me how this is? any thoughts, points, tips?

much appreciated

Steven

You should attach the diagrams with your writing test 1.

Sorry, here is the picture diagram of said piece. Thanks

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Keep your introduction short and direct.
The two diagrams illustrate the process of how cement is produced from raw materials and the production of concrete for building purpose.


In the first stage of cement making, limestone and clay are added to the crusher and then transferred to the mixer in the form of powder.


After that, the mixture is sent to the rotating heater and heated, the result of which is then grounded to produce cement.


Packaging cement in bags is the final step of the process.


To produce concrete, four materials are initially required.

In addition to the comments provided by previous contributors, I wish to comment about the approach you have taken towards the essay structure. I think it needs more improvement.

In summary,
There is no doubt that you can write very well. However, you need to polish the essay structure a bit more. This is a task to assess your report writing capabilities and therefore you've got to display that. Keep your writing within that scope of report writing. Pay attention to the structure proposed by Pahan.

Hey Guys, thanks heaps. Your right, I haven't got much writing experience. The reason i posted this was to assess my structuring and layout.

If its not to much to ask, would one of you care to elaborate a little more on Pahan's suggestions above. I get what he/she is saying i think, but some examples would be great.

Many thanks again.

Steve

...all verbs forms must be written in full.
You need the sequence pattern to explain your diagram with the signal words/phrase : first, second, then, next, after, finally..etc..

Problem: This indicates a fragment sentence. Solution: this needs a main sentence.

Ok, let's take part by part :D


e.g.
The two diagrams illustrate the details of cement and concrete production. The first diagram presents the process of cement production. The second diagram presents the composition of raw materials in concrete production.


Overall, more process stages and machinery are involved in cement production while the concrete production is a simple process that requires only the mixing of raw materials in right composition.


Now do the detailed analysis ;)

The diagram illustrates the production process of cement which is one of the raw material used for concrete production and the process of making concrete for construction purpose.

According to the first diagram, it can be seen that a multitude of tools are needed to produce cement. First, lime and clay are poured into a crusher from which comes the powder. Before being heated in a rotating heater, the powder put into a mixture for mixing purpose and to make sure that it is evenly distributed. The product that comes out of the rotating heater, then put into a grinder. The outcome is cement, which then gets pack into bags and the ready to be transported.

The production of concrete is less complicated compared to making cement. Cement, water, sand and gravel these raw materials required to make concrete. These raw materials are poured into the concrete mixture at the proportion of 15%, 10%, 25% and 50% respectively. After being spun in the concrete mixture for a period of time, concrete is created.

Overall, the production of concrete is a simple one step while making concrete has several steps in a production line.

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