IELTS-Some think that giving a weekly allowance to children face less problems

IELTS QUESTION
Some think that giving a weekly allowance to children will help them to face less problems when they are adults. Do you agree or disagree?

ANSWER:
Allowance gives motivation for children to do their work and it is less difficulty when they became adults. To accord this statement, I completely agree it will be useful for children to manage money at young age with proper guidance.

Some of the benefits of allowance for children are ability to learn about finance, responsibility about money, consequence of decision making. For emergency period, pocket money helps them if they miss their bus pass. Children will learn about money management skills. It gives them to satisfy their needs. For instance, it allows them to buy their own necessary item like books. It motivates kids to get their chores done.

On the other hand, if children given weekly allowance they think less about money. Paying kids for doing chores make them to think working for money isn't fun. They demand for complete each activity in the home to pay for it. Sweets are very cheap; they use allowance to buy them plenty. If they get money freely they will use it lavishly. They use it for bad activity like smoking, drug, and so forth. For example, the report says that children are spending money for smoking and also illegal activity.

In a nutshell, though giving an allowance to children by weekly helps to know about benefit about money but it will destroy their lives without any supervision. So parents should be high alert on giving allowance to children, they will spend amount on unessential activity. Parent should take care about all the expenses which relax children to focus only on studies.

A weekly allowance may motivate children to handle their finances independently to some extent and this exposure would benefit them when they are grown ups.


.... This should be "according to this statement".... However, I don't feel this is a nice way of expressing your opinion. You can simply say;

I completely agree with this idea

Allowance gives motivation for children to do their work and it is less difficulty when they becamebecome adults.

To me, it would be better to change the place the first sentence of your second paragraph and put it at the end of the first one. Then, in each paragraph, explain one by one.


I didn't understand what you meant, but I guess:
It (allowance) is given to them with the aim of satisfying their extra needs.


For instance, it allows them to buy their own necessary itemitems like books.


They demand to pay for completing each activity in the home.


For example, recent reports say that children are spending money for smoking and also illegal activities.

On the whole, you've mentioned good points, but it is not well-organized and the range of used vocabularies are not so vast.
Good luck

Hai Dev...
:responsibility about money AND DECISION MAKING CAPACITY.

:like book, pen and so on
Write two example and so on /so forth..
Because they can take lots of items like that..

:in nutshell....===> to learn financial managment, but it may...lives, if given without any supervision

Overall good attempt
Tessy

Weekly allowances helps children understand how co-ordinate their expenses and this practice would certainly be beneficial for them once they are adults.


The primary benefit a child would have because of an allowance is that he would be learning about finance.

You have good points but you need to improve your grammar and presentation.