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( IELTS essay) Weekly allowance for children: Agree/disagree


joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Jan 20, 2013   #1
Some people think giving a weekly allowance to children will help them to face less problems when they are adults. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays children like to live independently. Parents are allowing pocket money for them weekly or monthly. Some people consider it as a good idea while others oppose. However, I feel, if we are giving money with supervision and proper supervision, then only it will be beneficial otherwise it will spoil the children's lives.

Children are not even mature enough to handle the money particularly, in their childhood. If they get money freely, they spend it lavishly. These tender minded young children can easy praying to bad habits like smoking, drug addiction, craze for latest fashions and so on and attract towards outer beauty. Since it is the sweats less money, they have no hesitation to spend it plentifully. Moreover, if the habit of lavish life style became habitual, they may resort any illegal means to get money to fulfill their needs. This in turn led to produce a number of criminals in the society.

Undoubtedly, financial manage is one of the key factors of success. If children can learn how to manage their small amount of money wisely, this will be asset to their personality. This experience boosts their money management efficiency in their future lives. Children may face emergency conditions, that time these pocket money will be a blessing for them. For instance, they can effectively manage the unexpected bus strikes with this money. Besides, the habits of saving can be cultivated by giving weekly allowances. Since they are purchasing their own small things with the money, they can learn how to use money effectively according to their needs. For instance, a child needs to buy a book and pen with this allowance, either he can adjust the cost of both thing and can take both, or can take one item and postponed other. Adjusting both may boost their skill of money management. Parent should be careful to observe what children are doing with this money.

To conclude, children should learn how to use money wisely. With proper direction and control, if giving weekly allowance to children, it will be favorable for them. Otherwise, it will spoil their lives.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jan 20, 2013   #2
However, I feel, if we are giving money with supervision and proper supervision, then only it will be beneficial otherwise it will spoil the children's lives.

However, if parents provide them with an allowance under careful supervision, then it would benefit children. Otherwise, this action may spoil their lives since they are not yet matured to handle money.

Children are notevenyet mature enough to handle the money particularly, in their childhood

.... children refers to that they are still going through their childhood period. Therefore the highlighted part sounds redundant.
Sweet_bubble - / 1  
Jan 20, 2013   #3
These tender minded young children can easy praying to bad habits like smoking, drug addiction, craze for latest fashions and so on and attract towards outer beauty.(These young, tender minded children tend to develop bad habits such as smoking, drug addiction, and crazy for latest fashions) Since it is the sweats less money, they have no hesitation to spend it plentifully. Moreover, if the habit of lavish life style became habitual,(Because "habit became habitual" sounds a little weird, I think it'll be better if you choose this sentence "if they have been used to a lavish life style") they may resort any illegal means to get money to fulfill their needs. This in turn led to produce a number of criminals in the society(This can lead to a number of crimes in the society.) (I think "crime" will be better than "criminal" in the context of your essay) .

This experience(such experiences can )boosts (boost) their money management efficiency in their future lives. Children may face emergency conditions, that time these pocket money will be a blessing for them.(When emergency happens, children will be grateful for their owning pocket money.) .

I hope this helps! Good luck!
(I'm sorry. It seems I choose the wrong part "message". Honestly, it's the first time for me to use Essay Forum. My main goal here is to help you with your essay, joythblessy. I think I should have clicked on "reply" rather than "message". And hope you guys can understand that! :)
hywb2 5 / 6 4  
Jan 20, 2013   #4
Nowadays it is common that parents provide allowance for their children weekly. Some people believe, pocket money can help children to develop financial management ability as early as possible, promoting them live independently. The others think that giving money to children is unwise because children are too young to handle money correctly. In my opinion, it depends on whether the money is expended under appropriate instruction and supervision. If children have been taught to use money economically, the benefits aroused outweigh its adverse effects.
devabe2005 46 / 97  
Jan 21, 2013   #5
"spoil" word in introduction and also in conclusion -->use other words like destroy or indulge
devabe2005 46 / 97  
Jan 21, 2013   #6
two For instance, in the third para -->change it to For example, To illustrate
OP joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Jan 21, 2013   #7
Hai...
Dumi, Ben, sweet and Dev

Dumi and saweet...
Thanks for your concern and time...

Hai dev..
Thanks for noticeing repetation..

Hai Ben..
Thanks to all

Tessy


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