Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


TOEFL: I think that there are still a lot of different types of movies



LAB 328 3 / 7  
May 22, 2013   #1
do you agree or disagree with the following statment? i think there is to much violence in movies. give specific reasons and examples to support your response.

PLEASE NOTE: that i wrote it within 30 min. and give me your honest opinion about how much i could score out of 10 points.

The saying "I think there is too much violence in movies" is stating that the film industry is heading toward violent movies making nowadays. However, In my opinion I think that there are still a lot of different types of movies, and that only few of them has strong or violent scenes in them, and there are numerous reasons that proves my disagreement.

For one thing, a specific type of movies have some violence in them. These films are what we call action movies, and from their names we can see that strong scenes, like car chase, explosions, and more are important parts of the movie's plot, and that it is somewhat necessary. For instance, a film about the battles that occurred during the world war one is bound to have explosives, guns, and even blood; as an important factor of the story.

Moreover, the film industry is making all kinds of movies that have their audience, because after all not everyone likes action or horror movies. If someone has a problem with this type of movies, then he or she can always watch something else, after all, there are thousands of movies, and only a few might be the wrong choice for them. For example, a lot movies like drama, comedy, romance, adventure, and even animated movies are completely violence free.

Furthermore, the degree of violence in movies hadn't changed one bit in the history of movie making. What changed in them are probably the techniques and the machineries that have been used to create such scenes. For example the explosions that where created in old movies differ greatly that the one created in new ones, and that is because of the evolution of this industry.

In conclusion, what is great about movies is that they can take you to a different world in seconds, but it is up to the viewer to decide what he wants to see, and that hadn't changed one bit from the beginning of this phenomenon.

MisterWandering 18 / 314  
May 22, 2013   #2
In my opinion I think that

-> If you use "In my opinion", you can omit "I think that" or vice versa

These films are what we call action movies, and from their names we can see that strong scenes, like car chase, explosions, and more are important parts of the movie's plot, and that it is somewhat necessary.

-> You can split the whole sentence into 2 shorter ones. I feel a little bit confused when reading this.

; as an important factor of the story.

-> which are such important factors

the film industry is making all kinds of movies that have their audience

-> with a view to attracting millions of viewers

hadn't changed one bit in the history of movie making

-> hasn't changed much ...

the explosions that where created in old movies differ greatly that the one created in new ones

-> that were created... differ greatly from those in modern films.

I hope these help.
dumi 1 / 6795  
May 24, 2013   #3
The saying " I think there is too much violence in movies" is stating that the film industry is heading toward violent movies making nowadays

... you need to improve this sentence;
The saying " I think there is too much violence in movies" implies that the film industry is heading towards making only violent movies.

few of them hashave strong or violent scenes in them

Why don't you directly express your opinion? For example, " However, I disagree with this statement because xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx" . That aligns your writing better with your topic.

and from their names we can see that strong scenes, like car chase, explosions, and more are important parts of the movie's plot, and that it is somewhat necessary

.... and as this category name suggests, these movies consist of many violent actions such as car chase, explosions, plots etc.


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL: I think that there are still a lot of different types of movies
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳