I think, no one can't live these days without a mobile phone and a computer.

Can you fix the mistakes?^^
I think, no one can't live these days without a mobile phone and a computer. So today I will talk about technologies and a computer advantages and disadvantages. So let's get started.

For example I use a computer in the evenings and at the weekends. Computers have changed the way I work because there is much less paperwork involved in my job now. I do everything on the computer. Such as: chatting with friends, communicating with relatives by video calling. Besides my smart phone is always in my hands or in the pocket. So I am dependent on technologies.

Computers have many advantages. You can use them to store and organize information. They allow you to work quickly and more effectively. Other advantages include typing out a document, essay, letter, or a simple birthday card. We can communicate with our friends online and send them e-mails. You can find out lots of, information from the internet and you can even play games on them.

In other hand there are some disadvantages, too. For example staring at a computer screen for long periods of time can damage your eyes. Also Sitting in front of a computer for too long without exercise can cause a weight gain and other health issues. As well as some people use computers to look at things that we aren't suppose to see. People can actually get personal information about you by tricking you to fill out applications that LOOK real but are NOT real at all. In addition

Cybercrime, hacking, blackmailing, these are the first few types of crimes come into our mind when we are presented with the words "technology" and "crime". Let us consider the crimes which came into being because of modern technology. Hacking, being the most well known and famous crime of the modern era. Every innocent computer can be used to hack, either into a bank, a firm, or a house, depending on the hackers skills. Once he or she is successful in doing so, results can be disastrous. Millions can be stolen from a bank in minutes after the hacker sneaks in.

To sum up technologies give for us a lot of good things, but with technologies in our life came many bad things, so modern technologies are very good thing , just we must be careful on that.

This seems as if it was a speech that is talking about technology has taken over our daily lives.
I think, no one can't live these days without a mobile phone and a computer. So today I will talk about technologies and a computer advantages and disadvantages. So let's get started.

For example, I use a computer in the evenings and at on the weekends. Computers have changed the way I work because there is much less paperwork involved in my job now. I do everything on the computer. Such as: For example, I can chat with friends, communicate with relatives by video calling. Besides my smart phone is always in my hands or in the pocket. So I am dependent on technologies.I would reword the last sentence.

Computers have many advantages. You can use them to store and organize information. They allow you to work quickly and more effectively. Other advantages include typing out a document, essay, letter, or a simple birthday card. We can communicate with our friends online and send them e-mails. You can find out lots of, information from the internet and you can even play games on them.

InOn the other hand, there are some disadvantages too . For example, staring at a computer screen for long periods of time can damage your eyes. Also Sitting in front of a computer for too long without exercise can cause a weight gain and other health issues. As well as some people use computers to look at things that we aren't suppose to see. People can actually get personal information about you by tricking you to fill out applications that LOOK real but are NOT real at all.I understand the last sentence but it would be better in other wording. In addition

Cybercrime, hacking, blackmailing, these are the first few types of crimes come into our mind when we are presented with the words "technology" and "crime". Let us consider the crimes which came into being because of modern technology. Hacking, being the most well known and famous crime of the modern era [fragment ]. Every innocent computer can be used to hack, either into a bank, a firm, or a house, depending on the hackers skills. Once he or she is successful in doing so, results can be disastrous. Millions can be stolen from a bank in minutes after the hacker sneaks in.

To sum up technologies give for us a lot of good things, but with technologies in our life came many bad things, so modern technologies are very good thing , just we must be careful on that. [reword ]

lots of, information . Also, do not use those words like good or bad. Try to complicate your vocabulary a little bit more.

rokajo, before I comment on your essay as a whole, I feel that you need to be informed about how we review essays here. You need to provide us with the essay prompt, the question that was provided to you either for the TOEFL, IELTS, GRE, or university essay app. That question will be the basis for the way we review your essay for content and adherence to the prompt requirements. I advise you to post the essay prompt in full this thread so that we can properly review your paper. In the meantime, I can offer an overview of your paper, without correcting grammar errors at the moment, because the content of your essay may change once we find out what the prompt is and we make suggestions regarding how to align your answer with the prompt.

In an academic essay, you are supposed to provide an introduction to the discussion that poses the question asked, the kind of discussion that will be found in the paper, and your thesis statement or point of view. This will normally cover around 3 sentences. You need to inform us if the opinions that will be stated are solely coming from your point of view or if you will be making reference to other people's opinion or reading material. That is to provide continuity and to allow the reader to know when to expect changes in the paper.

- The reasons you provide are too shallow to defend the stand that nobody can live without a mobile phone or computer these days. Remember, there is a growing movement that advocated not using your gadgets on weekends so that your body can rest and recharge. These people live without phones and computers for a few days or even more. Try to find a stronger reason that you can validate with evidence.


- Try to use only one reason at a time and be sure to fully develop your reason for credibility sake. Do not offer 6 half discussed reasons and then leave it at that. You weaken your essay that way and risk getting very low grades in the process.

I'll save the rest of my comments, opinions, and suggestions until after you have revised the paper. That is, if you choose to do so :-)