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[TOEFL] three-day or five-day working. Help me correct this essay.



phuongnam95 9 / 27  
Nov 10, 2013   #1
Working hours are different from each company. Some companies offer three-day working for their workers, while others have five-day working with shorter hours per day. Personally, I agree that it is more enjoyable to have a job which has three-day working than to have a five-day working jobs, because I can concentrate more on the job and I can have more free time at weekend.

First of all, with longer hours a day, I can concentrate more on the job. I find hard to solve all the work of one day in a short period of time, so it is necessary to work in long hours a day. For example, now I am working in an oil company which offers the employees seven hours working a day. Workers can have a lunch in the office and rest a little bit before working in the afternoon. With much time working, I can solve all the contracts of the consumers in a day without leaving them for the day after. I do not need to bring my work back to my home to finish in the evening. The productivity is also increasing a lot. In short, workers can focus on the job more when working long hours a day and as the result, the productivity of the job will be high.

In addition, working only three days a week, I can have more free time at weekend. Workers who work five days a week only have two remain days: Saturday and Sunday to entertain, while the employees working three days a week have more relaxing days. For instance, my partner in my company has family with a son. With the working schedule like my company has, he told me that he had more time playing and taking care of his wife as well as his son. Moreover, because of more hours per day, he solves all his work in the working days, he spend all four days left for his family and for his own interests. The story of my friend shows that workers can easily care for their families and entertain themselves during four days of weekend when they are working three days a week.

To sum up, I agree that it is better to have a career where I work only three days a week for long hours, because I can focus more on the job and I can have more spare time at weekend. Three-day working jobs are becoming prevalent all over the world nowadays.

Altaa 11 / 22  
Nov 11, 2013   #2
Working hours are different from each company. - Working hours are different for companies depending on their internal rule.
raufh05 2 / 5  
Nov 11, 2013   #3
Personally, I agree that it is more enjoyable to have a job which has three-day working than to have a five-day working jobs, because I can concentrate more on the job and I can have more free time at weekend.

i dont know how u can concentrate more on job when u r work longer shifts that is more tiresome which can cause lose of concentration ?

How about writing it like this: personally, i prefer longer working shifts with more free days as i have plenty of times to enjoy...

I find hard to solve all the work of one day in a short period of time

how about this: i find it hard to get done a day work in short period of time...


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