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"to have three years of studying a foreign language" - my toefl essay !



adoh 1 / -  
Aug 7, 2010   #1
Would you please give me feedback about my essay? Thank you so much in advance.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
All high school students should be required to have three years of studying a foreign language. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

I taught basic things about Arabic and English language when I was in high school. In that time, it was very hard for me and other students to learn two foreign languages, but now I am very thankful that my high school made us to learn. Learning foreign language is a skill that not only is very useful for our future college/university study and job but also is a way to learn about other people and cultures in the world.

Learning a new language in high school can be very helpful when traveling to foreign countries or for study aboard. For example, now I like to get my master degree from a university in Europe or America. If I have not learned English in high school, I should study harder for TOEFL. Moreover, because English is an international language, I can travel more easily and with more confidence around the world.

I know for getting many jobs knowing a foreign language is an advantage. For instance, in Canada both French and English are official languages of the country. So learning both languages in high school can make our resume stronger which helps our future job.

Finally, learning a new language means learning about different people and knowing about their culture. In my opinion, it is very exciting to get to know other people by learning the language they speak. Having such experience in high school when we have more free time is very good.

Learning a foreign language gives many opportunities to high school students; although it can be very hard to learn. I have learned Arabic and English when I was in high school and this helps me so much for getting a job and study aboard.

hannahan - / 7  
Aug 7, 2010   #2
I taught (was taught/ learned) basic things about Arabic and English language when I was in high school. In that time, it was very hard for me and other students to learn two foreign languages, but now I am very thankful that my high school made us to learn. Learning foreign languages is a skill(a skillful task) that not only it is very useful for our future college/university study and job but also is a way to learn about other people and cultures in the world.

You make some small grammar mistakes.
Just keep on practice.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Aug 8, 2010   #3
I was taught basic things about Arabic and English language when I was in high school.

I think you do not mean to say you taught. I think you are saying you were taught. That is why I changed it (above) by adding "was"

Somewhere in that first paragraph, tell us whether you agree with the statement that all students should have three years of studying a foreign language.

I know for getting many jobs knowing a foreign language is an advantage.
This is correct, but this is better:
I know that being fluent in a foreign language can make us more qualified for many jobs.

For instance, in Canada both French and English are official languages of the country. So, lea rning both languages in high school can make our resume stronger which helps our future job.--- This sentence is well-written! I just added a comma after "so"

:-) great job!

Learning a foreign language gives many opportunities to high school students, alth ough it can be very hard to learn. I have learned Arabic and English when I was in high school and this helps me so much for getting a job and studyin g aboard abroad.
oceanyang 2 / 1  
Aug 10, 2010   #4
Learning a new language in high school can be very helpful when traveling to foreign countries or for study (better to say: or "studying") aboard. For example, now I ('d) like to get my master degree from a university in Europe or America. If I have not learned English in high school, I should study harder for TOEFL. Moreover, because English is an international language, I can travel more easily and with more confidence around the world.(and be more confident...)

hope it may help~


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