Unanswered [18] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

A time i was challenged on a expectaion

ChaCha11 1 / -  
Aug 21, 2012   #1
It was March 21, 2010 i was 14 years old when i had got accepted to be on competitive dance team at Thunder Elite that i had been working really hard taken two classes a week which were a tumbling and a private dance class that i had been taking to make the 2011 dance team but by suprise i recently got asked to join the team of fifteen girls which would make me the sixteenth member of the team, the team had been practicing already for three months the first day i attented i had to watch the team preform this dance then i had to join in i had other experiences in dance since the age of four it was way different than Ballet, Tap,Jazz it was competitive hip-hop that i had to attend twice a week for an hour and a half so i had to learn plenty of jumps and tricks as in cartwheels ,C-jumps,Backflips it was a fast paste routine that week that i had join the team my Coach said i need to practice a little bit more harder if i wanted to be on the dance team so i got advice from fromal dance teamates i also had my mother record the dance routine performance off of my phone so that i could become more sharper and strong at the time i felt way to highly of myself and i didn't want to let my self down finally i came up with an idea that i would practice just a little more on what i needed help on with all the feedback my process started to developed i was encouraged by everyone's advice then it already been our first couple of months as a group finishing up the last part of our routine after eight months of hard work and dedication it was time to show our performance and compete against other dance groups the highlight of my challenge was that all the hard work me and my team put made us first place and high point all six times we preformed that was the time i faced a difficult challenge in my life so far but what i learn is not to ever give up an just push threw.
ellecc 4 / 12  
Aug 23, 2012   #2
I am not sure. I don't mean that your essay is bad. I just think maybe this topic is too common. I think maybe the whole "challenge and never give up" topic can't stand out. Or maybe you can organize the essay in a better way! just my onw view, maybe a bad one.. Just trying to help

Home / Writing Feedback / A time i was challenged on a expectaion