The topic describe positive side when living in city - opportunities, career, raising children, etc.

quality of life in the city

Maybe anyone of us also wants to develop the career in model cities right? It is the place where most of the companies that everyone targets it. Working on these companies mean that you will be able to learn many things and certainly will be paid a high salary and You will have a bright future. In addition, there are many entertainment places to serve the people after stressful working hours.

when we study, we often think about the future, about later life. we try to study well to find opportunities in the big cities. Have you ever wonder why not looking for the opportunities at the countryside? In it, the air also fresh but why have to go to town.

If we debate about this issue surely will not come to an end. Here I just want to express my personal views. When you working at the city, you will have chances learn new technologies and working with the foreigner and learn from their experiences. It will motivate you to improve yourself. And the result day of work hard you have a comfortable life. It is the reward you deserve.

You also think about getting married and having children. Once your child reaches school age, you have to find a school that has a good education. You will have many choices in big towns.

You expect the child get to achieve good results as you have. So from now, you have to equip them a solid foundation.
There is also the opinion that life of the city is stuffy, bored and polluted. Each person a point of views, which has a negative and positive side.

In short, I think living of the city will be much more positive. And do you think about the issues?

Kieu, it is difficult to begin to assess your essay as you did not signify if this is for a research paper, a normal essay, or an English exam essay. Next time, please indicate what sort of reason you wrote the essay for so that you can be advised accordingly. Right now, I can spot some pretty obvious problems with your sentence development that I need to point out to you.

Your grammar is faulty in the sense that you have an effective use of verbs, but you do not include subjects in the sentence so your presentations do not have any substance or meaning to it. When you only have descriptions for the actions (verb), but you do not have a reason for it (subject), then the sentence presentation becomes confusing and, if you are taking an English test, ends up giving you a very bad score in relation to grammar skills.

Try to be cognizant of grammar rules at all times. That means, double check your presentations for capitalization issues and punctuation use. In the second paragraph, you kicked it off with a lower case starting topic sentence. Bad move. All first words in a sentence are always capitalized. That is a basic English writing rule.

Next, your paragraphs, for English tests, regardless of the kind, it has to have a minimum of 3 sentences to qualify as a completely developed paragraph that can explain itself in a proper manner. You are inconsistent in your presentations throughout the essay. Also, in English test writing, you are not allowed to pose a question to the reader because, unlike in an English research paper where you are allowed to pose a question and an answer because you are not hindered by sentence maximum limitations.

A concluding paragraph must always summarize your discussions. In this instance though, it did not do that and it even closed with a question. That makes is unsuitable as an English exam essay closing presentation.

I'd have to assume that this is for an academic essay because you didn't specify it. Or is it for an article?

Either way, I think it's better not write the essay as if you're talking to a second person (the way you present this is like a dialogue of two, with 'you' being the reader) because normally in english we write in the third person perspective. Say "most people think.." or "it is common belief that people are..." rather than "you think.." :)

good luck