Training for work is more important than providing a broad base education?

Hi There Im preparing for my IELTS can somebody correct my essay

Some people nowadays believe that training is essential than broad base education,base on the fact that regardless of the degree earned,professionals are still obligated to undergo training for further knowledge and skills development.

Training is important especially to the newly hired worker for them to be oriented in their workplace,to be more confident on their jobs.

In addition,training also open doors for the new ideas presented which was not taught during college days and for the new worker to be oriented on the new trends that the companies are currently using.

However,I strongly believe that broad based education cannot be set aside in favor of training because the two has it's purposes.

In my experience ,I studied nursing for four year,and during those years I learned and gained knowlegdge about nursing concepts and principles,which I believe is the foundation of my training. I may not be able to understand any trainings which will be given to me without the foundation of knowleged that was shared to me during college days,meaning to say is that for me to be an effective and efficient nurse I should have the combination of training and broad based education.

I therefore conclude that training cannot outweigh broad based education because the two needs to be together.

The topic is really very nice. There are plenty of things you can add. Brother let us make paragraphs/check your spellings (knowleged)
we can also add trainings are organised to improve our skills in particular fields/whenever new inventions or innovations are done in our field, company organise for not only new employees but also employees who are already in those fields for long time to get awareness / training are generally for low level professions for example welder/grinding/fitter/NDT where no back ground is required,but it is merely for handling particular work/objectives/handling machines. Training is a practicle application to understand how in real theories are interrelated to applications which is beneficial to human kind. Under going training is of short term/cheaper in which not only companies but also lot of giverment funded institutions/universities are also involed.

You have taken very good example of your profession but we can also add with time to time there are innovations in pur own field and to run efficiently in present world companies/instituions/universities organise them.

This is a task 2 essay, right? Then you need to write at least 250 words, and this essay that you have has only 211 words.

I don't know what the exact rubric is, but basically in an IELTS task 2 essay, in the intro, you need to write a motivator, then paraphrase the topic, and give your opinion.

In the body,


=> this is considered three paragraphs.
For each body paragraph, you need to write a topic sentence, then explain it further, using relevant examples (which is what you wrote in the 5th paragraph). You should have at least two reasons to support your choice (which is training cannot outweigh broad based education) and make them 2 body paragraphs.

In the conclusion, paraphrase the topic and again, state your opinion.

Best