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Travel agencies with customized travel program or free backpacking?



deniselee 2 / 3  
Mar 16, 2018   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

The way of traveling



Nowadays, there is a boom in the number of the travel agency providing several customized travel program. However, I hold the opinion that putting your trust in the tour company is not always the best alternative to travel. I feel this way for three reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

First of all, although tour group saves much time and effort to consider all your needs and make the whole plan for you, it also limits the time you want to spend in one place and tourist sites you prefer to explore. My own experience is a compelling example of this. When I traveled to Beijing with my friends several months ago, we joined a tour group and were forced to spend only one hour on the Great Wall. Later on, we were taken to a shopping store. It is impossible to enjoy the entire trip in so limited time, let go of shopping stores. If we travel alone, we can go wherever we want and spend enough time to enjoy every site rather than wasting time in a shopping center. As a result, I am strongly opposed to traveling with tour groups, which totally ruined the pleasure in travel.

The other reason is associated with money. Following with a tour group usually costs much more money than traveling alone due to the higher level of hotels and restaurants, the fee of travel bus and the tour agency. On the other hand, if traveling alone, you can book cheap hostels and eat local foods. Making travel plans by yourself not only saves the agency fee but also provides the feeling of accomplishment.

Third, as a person fond of adventure and explore everything new, I can meet other like-minded people while traveling alone. This is not going to happen if you are in a tour group which is probably full of elderly people or those cannot understand the pleasure of adventure. Take my travel in Norway for example, on the way alone to catch a glimpse of the aurora, I met a group of people with great enthusiasm in adventures like me. We went find aurora together and waited in the weather of minus thirty degrees Celsius, which was really the most remarkable experience in my life. Therefore, I will absolutely choose to travel alone for the things and the people surprise me on every trip.

By the way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that traveling in a tour group is absolutely not the best choice for me. This is because people cannot control their time, place and money when traveling by themselves and will not meet like-minded fellows.

manhhackc 2 / 2  
Mar 16, 2018   #2
Dear @deniselee
Please take note that in an academic essay, you should not use your experience to illustrate a problem. You should hold a objective position to argue.
TJLuschen - / 236  
Mar 16, 2018   #3
Hi, I respectfully disagree with manhhackc and think that personal examples are fine for this type of essay. That being said, I would steer clear of using the second person if possible. Saying "you should this, you should that" sounds a little inelegant, so I would try to stick to first and third person, which usually is not too difficult. Here are some specific suggestions:

the number of the travel [agencies] providing ... {maybe "agencies, each providing their own customized travel programs"}

is not always the best alternative [when traveling] {it sounded you were saying a tour company is an alternative to travel, but really it is one way to travel}

I feel this way for three reasons, which ... {I think it is better to end your intro with a powerful thesis that summarizes your viewpoint - this seems weak}

although [a] tour group

time and effort [by considering] all your needs and [making] the whole plan for you

joined a tour group and were [allowed] to spend ...

we were taken to a shopping store.{what other kinds of stores are there? maybe "shopping center" or "shopping area"} It [was] impossible to ... in so limited [a ]time, [to say nothing of meaningless ]shopping [expeditions].

If we travel alone, we can go wherever we want and spend enough time to enjoy every site rather than wasting time in a shopping center. As a result, I am strongly opposed to traveling with tour groups, which totally ruined the pleasure in travel.

The other reason {other reason for what? try to refer back to the prompt and your thesis in each topic sentence} is associated with money.

Following with a tour ...

... restaurants, the [charter/tour bus] fee of travel bus and the tour agency.

... provides [a ] feeling of accomplishment.

fond of adventure and[ exploring] everything new,

... to happen if [I am] in a tour group

or those [who] cannot understand

travel in Norway for example[;] on the way

We went [to] find [the] aurora together ...
... to travel alone for the [experiences] {try to avoid using "things" - there is always a better word, so "things" means you could not come up with any better alternative}

By the way of conclusion,
OP deniselee 2 / 3  
Mar 17, 2018   #4
really appreciate both of your comments!!
may i ask how much score can my writing like this one get in toefl?


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