Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


Travelling is a sweet escape from stressful life - and the best is sharing joy with a loving family



Kimgrey 1 / 2  
Mar 9, 2016   #1
Some prefer travelling with companion others prefer to travel alone. What do you think better?

Travelling is a sweet escape from stressful life. Many workers allotted time just to travel to unwind and also, to see how wonderful the world is. Some of them choose to travel alone and some wants to have a companion. These essay will tackle both views.

At this present time, there are lots of people who loves travelling to experience the worlds' amazing spots. Some of them, travel alone. They choose to travel by themselves to have more time to think and explore different places. Most of them are Journalist and Writers who usually travel to focus on their field of work. According to them, being alone in a trip is peaceful and they can internalize better in their writing with no conflicts from others. Further, they are uncomfortable with the presence of others.

On the other hand , there are people who used to travel with companions - a family, friends or a lover. They found it safer and comfortable. For instances, unexpected events happen along the way on their trip, they have these people who will look after them. Moreover, these kind of people are most likely enjoy interacting and communicating rather than being alone.

In my mind, both views have their own points to consider, However, I prefer to travel by group either with my own Family or with people who are close to my heart. I want to spend my time in various places together with them, because in travelling you create Memories that last forever and It makes you eager to travel more.

What band score it will get ? thank you

Wolf Larsen - / 109  
Mar 9, 2016   #2
Hello Kimgrey

I think your text is well-written. However, you could consider applying the following adjustments:

Thesethis essay
At this present time, there are lots of people who loves travelling to experience the worlds' amazing spots . - Nowadays, many people do travel a lot, as the mean of familiarizing themselves with the world's numerous wonders.

They choose to travel by themselves to have more time to think and explore different places - These people prefer to travel alone, so that they have more time to explore different places and to think of their experiences, in this respect.

j ournalist and w riters
being alone inon a trip
they find They found it safer - it safer
For instances, unexpected events happen along the way on their trip - For example, if an unexpected event takes place during their trip...

Regards.
OP Kimgrey 1 / 2  
Mar 9, 2016   #3
Thank you for giving some points on my essay ! I will take note of that :)
adrian21 15 / 17  
Mar 13, 2016   #4
Hello Kimgrey
Let me give my opinion about your essay

Be careful with the type of sentence
Many workers allotted time just to travel ... --> Many workers allocate their time for travelling in order to unwind and realize the beauty of the world.

Make it efficient
Some of them choose to travel alone and some wants to have a companion --> Some of them choose to travel alone, while others prefer to have companion in their journey.

Be careful with grammars. Use appropriate vocabulary
These essay will tackle both views --> This essay will discuss about it in both views

Hope this useful
Regards,
Ethan M - / 4  
Mar 14, 2016   #5
Hi Kimgrey,

Here are the corrections I would suggest:

Many workers allotted timeMany people allocate time for travelling just to unwind and ...
While some of them choose to travel alone, and some wantsothers like to have a companion. TheseThis essay will tackle both views.
At this present time, there are lotsa lot of people who loves love travelling to experience the worlds' world's amazing spots.

Most of them are j ournalist and w riters who usually travel to ...
... is peaceful and they can internalize thoughts better in their writing with ...
... there are people who used to travel with companions - a family, friends or a lover. They foundfind it safer and comfortable. For instances, if unexpected events happen ...

... However, I prefer to travel by group, either with my own f amily or with people who ...
... because in travelling you create m emories that last forever and i t makes you eager to travel more.

I also suggest to check out few essay samples - /essays/Travelling-In-Group-Or-Not-47467971, as they could help you better your writing.


Home / Writing Feedback / Travelling is a sweet escape from stressful life - and the best is sharing joy with a loving family
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳