Essay: Travelling & Tourism - if you don't afraid to take the risk then go ahead

Rubric: Write an opinion essay stating the advantages and disadvantages of travelling, and then state your own opinion. Up to 200/250 words.

Travelling & Tourism

Travelling and tourism can be seen both as a sacrifice or a source of pleasure. Some people may see the positive side of travelling to somewhere else, while other people might only be able to see the flip side of it, or even though they can see both sides, bad things may be more important for them rather than the good things. For some people, money might be the problem, or even the customs; however for others, visiting other countries means learning new languages and cultures. Thus there seem to be more disadvantages than advantages regarding travelling and tourism.

Firstly, travelling is dangerous because people is destroying natural areas; like the Coral Reef, which is disappearing because of the high levels of tourism in Australia. In addition to this, there might be some hazardous areas that foreigners do not know about, and as a result, many of them have been kidnaped lot of times, and later found dead; as an Argentinian girl called Lola who disappeared in Uruguay and then appeared dead, some time ago.

Secondly, although there are new technologies that make it easier for people to travel, it is still very expensive. Also, the different customs from other countries may be sources of misunderstandings, which make the trip rather unpleasant.

On the other hand, there are people who say that you can learn new languages and meet new cultures when travelling, but actually, there are many ways of knowing a culture or language in your own country. It is also said that you might escape from problems if you travel away. However, the problems will still be there when you return home, you will never be able to escape from them for good.

Taking everything into account, it is my firm belief that, if people like travelling and do not care about the risk, then they can do as they wish, but do not try to convince someone who does not want to do so, because there are many disadvantages regarding travelling and tourism.

Words: 334

I can help you with your essay.

1st paragraph: Some people may see the positive side of travelling to somewhere else, while other people might only be able to see the flip side of it, or even though they can see both sides, bad things may be more important for them rather than the good things. I'm unsure about this sentence, it is difficult to understand so I think it should be deleted.

There needs to be some words added: I think you should state that some people may had difficulty travelling because of the costs, while others can afford to travel to other countries to learn the language and culture of each country they visit.

Place a comma after "Thus".

2nd paragraph: When you use natural areas, this is more than one area, so change is to "people are" in this sentence. I think you need to explain the dangers of visiting the Coral Reef in Australia now that it is disappearing.

Change part of this sentence to: "many of them may them have experienced dangerous situations. For example, an Argentinean girl, who disappeared in Uruguay, was later found dead."*

*When you are retelling a story that appeared in the news, if you use the word "appeared" it may seem like the person is still alive.

4th paragraph: This is a really good paragraph! There is a slight change you should make by changing the word order: "Also, some may travel as an escape from their problems."

5th paragraph: I'm unsure if you are over the word count, but you could add another sentence if you are under the word count. Here are some suggestions for your last paragraph: Taking everything into account In summary, it is my firm belief that if people like travelling and do not care about the risks, then they can do as they wish. but do not Yet, they should not try to..."