It is true that consumers could purchase goods at lower cost these days

Hello! Please give me some advice to improve my writing skills, thank you so much !

Task 2:

People in the community can buy cheaper products nowadays.

Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

It is true that consumers could purchase goods at lower cost. While some people hold the opinion that there are various benefits to buyers when they use the low - priced products, others argue that the affordable commodities have their downsides and drawbacks.

It leaves no doubt that buying products at lower prices are able to have substantially beneficial to purchasers, which grants them more spending choices. With the affordable commodities, people can enjoy choosing diverse types of goods, which suit their budget. Therefore, people seem to be satisfied with items that have both reasonable costs and different categories. For example, various smartphone or computer bands are just lower than 10 million dongs, therefore, either affluent or low-income customer possess one.

On the other hand, I strongly believe that having more disadvantages for consumers when people advocate the idea of buying cheaper products. First and foremost, numerous manufacturers use unsafe ingredients to put away, which may put health's customers in danger. Especially, for example, the fast - food in street Vietnam be often used food insecurities such as moldy or dirty materials to make foods causing digestive disorder or food poisoning. Furthermore, to electronic devices such as computers and telephones, products of low-cost may bring about short-shelf life and inferior quality. As a result of this, people sometimes have to waste money on repairing them or purchase the new one.

Opinions vary on acquiring affordable goods in this day and age. Despite reasons for the good sides of making purchase products at cheaper prices, it seems to me the disadvantages are greater.

Hi, I might have some corrections for you.

1. The grammar correction for this sentence "... prices has substantial benefit for purchasers.

'Substantially' is an adverb and 'beneficial' is an adjective. They don't work together. You need a noun preceded by adjective.

2. I don't think the example you provided in the first paragraph works with the previous explanation. You explained that cheaper price of goods provides the advantage of being able to purchase different types of goods for buyer. But you used the example that says everyone can afford smartphone.

3. I have tried to rewrite the third paragraph as shown below
... believe that there are more disadvantages for consumers within the idea of buying cheaper products. Firstly, numerous manufacturers use unsafe materials in their products, which may put customers in jeopardy. For example, the fast-foods in Vietnam street often serves inedible foods made by spoiled or unhygienic ingredients and results in customers experiencing digestive disease or food poisoning. Furthermore, there are manufacturers of electronic devices such as computers and telephones that uses low-cost materials and produces fragile products. As a result, people sometimes have to waste money to keep repairing them or ...

Hope it helps.

Ngyuen, this is a single opinion essay. It is not a comparison essay discussion. A comparison essay discussion always has the instruction: Discuss both points of view and give your opinion. This is a single opinion essay because the instruction is asking you discuss whether the given statement has more advantages than disadvantages. You are being asked for a personal opinion. Your job in this essay is to support one point of view. Therefore the discussion sentence should be indicative of whether you think there are more advantages or disadvantages. Your thesis statement should have been:

Based on several considerations, I believe that there are more disadvantages to the given scenario.

The more proper and better scoring paraphrase for the opening presentation would have been:

As more and more people can buy cheaper products these days, a discussion has arisen regarding its advantages and disadvantages. The question for consideration has become whether or not the advantages of this purchasing ability are far greater than its disadvantages. I believe that this buying capacity has more disadvantages than advantages. My reasons for this belief are to be found in the succeeding presentation.

After that, you should have 2 succeeding reasoning paragraphs that support your given statement, without creating a comparison discussion. The kick-off should be:

The main reason I view this situation as a disadvantage is because....

The other reason I have to support my opinion is that....

In the end, the reasons I have offered support the fact that...

The overall format for your discussion is misguided. Therefore, you will only be scored for the part of the essay that supports the disadvantages. The rest of the essay that reasons out in support will be disregarded in the scoring process.