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If You're Trying to Stay on Budget, Stay Off Social Media



riaerizal11 3 / 5  
Aug 12, 2016   #1
Are you trying to save your money and stick on your budget plan? An article from time.com, which is written by Megan Leonhardt, suggests you to stay off from your social media accounts. Why? Because we often crave for things we see on social media, which we actually do not need them.

TD Ameritade, a company that provides online broker service, has conducted a survey to over 1,000 correspondents (aged 18 to 35) about how social media impacts their lifestyle. The survey found this networking tool plays a big role in people's spending and saving habits.

Some of them admitted that they feel pressured to keep up with their friends' spending, which is shown on social media; especially when it comes to purchases and vacations. So, that is the reason why they rather spending more money to make a good impression than saving to spend in the future.

Source: time.com/money/4449427/budget-social-media/?xid=homepage

grintdevereaux30 9 / 6  
Aug 12, 2016   #2
Hi Indri!! glad to see you here, I have read your essay. Now, let me give you some feedback, hope this can be useful for you:)

first paragraph:
... we often crave for things//can you explain what is this word "things" that you mean? sometimes it makes reader confused with the word "things" we see on social media, which we actually do not need them.

I cannot get the other mistakes that you made. You created a great writing. I do not know if you having any mistakes on the grammatical errors, but as I search it, you did it well without any wrong grammar, good job. keep writing :)

if you find my mistakes, feel free to give me the correction. thank you.
Permata92 3 / 5  
Aug 15, 2016   #3
Hi Ria!! I have read your essay. There are some grammatical errors but have done corrected for you. I suggest that it is quite good essay. Good Job and good luck for others essay.


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