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IELTS Task 1. Two bars: motivations to study and workers' support



Misnariah Idrus 19 / 35  
Jul 11, 2014   #1
The first graph provides information regarding the motivations to study which are classified based on the learners' age while the second bar chart compares the workers' support includes vacation and help with salary based on age range.

Overall, for people below 40 years old, the quantity trend of employer support was similar to that of learners who was motivated by career, whereas over 40 years old workers had a similar trend to the students who study because of their interest on a particular subject.

For a more detailed look at the graph reveals that the gap between learners motivated by career and by interest was tremendously remarkable (70). However, it widened to the older group and even had the exactly same number in group 40-49 years old. As the tendency of career motivated students increased toward the bolder, those who were over 49 years old pursuing to study more because of their passion rather than for supporting their career.

Furthermore, the majority of employer support (64) was given to those who were under 26 years old while the slightest (34) was given to those who were in the range 30-39 years old. The worker who were categorized in the second (26-29 years old), fourth (40-49 years old), and fifth (over 49 years old) age group were supported with between 39-51 time off and help with fees.


  • education_age.jpg


Abboschikband6 - / 2  
Jul 11, 2014   #2
Hey Mr you write essay very well instead of estamating the quantity of words. However the essay well-organised.
hungtho 2 / 10  
Jul 12, 2014   #3
Actually, I don't see any detailed figures in this paragraph, it's a little bit of data.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jul 13, 2014   #4
I like the approach you have followed for this task - Intro, Overview, Detailed paras. Let's look at the other areas of this writing :)

Overall, for people below 40 years old, the quantity trend of employer support was similar to that of learners who was motivated by career, whereas over 40 years old workers had a similar trend to the students who study because of their interest on a particular subject.

This has some issues with regard to clarity. The main reason I see is that you have lengthened this sentence too much. It is just one long sentence. Had you done couple of lines for this overview it would be much more clear and interesting to the reader. So consider rephrasing this line :)


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