Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS 1 - The two images provide the layout of a school as it was in 2004 and plans for 2024



iygnit 4 / 7  
Feb 29, 2020   #1
Topic:

The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.



The two images provide the layout of a school as it was in 2004 and the plan for construction in the year 2024. It is apparent that the main change for 2024 involves a new school building, for the purpose of accommodating more students.

In 2004, the number of total students was 600 people. It is clear from the picture that many tresses were planted on the edge of the campus. The main school buildings were sited on the north, separated by a pedestrian. There was a sport area situated in the end of the sidewalk.

A glance at the photo provided reveals that the school is anticipated to accommodate 1000 pupils in 2024. Hence, the third school building is expected to located on where sport field used to stand. The place for sport is planned to established on the opposite side of building 3, nearby the second car park. By 2024, a road will be built from the main entrance to the new car park. The main entrance and the original car park will remain the same.


  • 6a0120a5bb05d8970c01.png


Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Feb 29, 2020   #2
WARNING ! STUDENTS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SCORE ESSAYS !! STUDENT SCORING = SUSPENSION !!!

The summary overview should have been the first place where the student count comparison should have been stated. It should have been the final sentence because, properly formatted, the number of students would have indicated the trending statement for this essay. The trending statement isn't actually in the presentation. You could have presented the information for the last sentence as follows:

The population of the student community is expected to increase from 600 in 2004 to 1000 in 2024. Hence the need to redesign the student campus and buildings over the next 20 years.

Some grammar corrections are in store for your work. Change the verb form for "to located" to "to be located" since that is happening in the future. Future tense must be used for all references to 2024. The same goes for "to established" , to be established, and so on and so forth.

Though there are problems with your tense usage and grammar structure, you were able to explain the illustrations to the reader. While there is some degree of difficulty in understanding your work due to the grammar range issues, it was not so stressful to read your paper that you would receive extreme points deductions for it. Basically, you have written just enough words for this essay to increase your scoring chances overall.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS 1 - The two images provide the layout of a school as it was in 2004 and plans for 2024
Need Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳