IELTS 1; Underground railway system in six cities: London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and LA

Dear All,

I come from Asia, I have to take the IELTS apas but the writing task is too hard for me. Can anyone give me some or full comment for my writing?

Underground Railway System

The table gives information about the underground railway system in six cities where are London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and LA.

For the open date of the underground railway system, London is the earliest with 1863 while LA is the latest with 2001. In addition, Paris's underground railway system was built in 1900 while Tokyo's railway system was built in 1927. Around 50 years later, the railway system of Washington DC and Kyoto were constructed in 1976 and 1981 respectively.

The longest railway system is in London with 394 kilometers. However, Kyoto's railway system is the shortest one of 11 kilometers. LA's railway system is longer than Kyoto, which is 28 kilometers. Moreover, the length of the rail system in Washington, Tokyo and Paris are also longer than 100 km, which are 126km 155km and 199km respectively.

For the last group, it is clear that Tokyo's railway system hold a maximum volume of 1927 million passengers per year while the railway system in Paris holds 1911 million passengers per year. The railway system of passengers in Kyoto and LA were similar which are 45 million per year and 50 million per year respectively. There are 144 million passengers per year in Washington DC's railway system. London's passengers of the railway system are more than Washington DC's which is 775 million per year.

• 
  question.jpg
  

As this is a task 1 essay, it should only be given a brief discussion or report presentation. You should not go over 190 words since you only have 20 minutes to write the task. Writing more than 200 words could cut into the Task 2 writing time since you still need to proof read and rewrite the Task 1 essay. That could cause you to cut into the Task 2 writing time. Keep it short, do not over analyze unless you actually have to. Brief and concise is the best way to get a high score in this task.

The summary overview is incomplete. You should not just represent the type of image and list the 6 cities, you also need to present a trending statement at the end which indicates the most notable information from the table or any other image. In this case, you could have trended by saying Tokyo was the second oldest system with the third longest route, but the highest number of passengers.

Try to keep a uniform sentence number in each paragraph. You should have between 3-5 sentences each as those are the minimum and maximum requirements for the Task 1 presentation. Avoid using run on sentences, which you are prone to, in your presentations. Run - on sentences help you meet the word requirement but usually end up reducing the clarity of your sentence and/or paragraph presentation. Make sure to use the proper simple and complex sentence mix instead.