'unnecessory and unethical' - DEATH PENALTY ESSENTAL OR NOT?

Q.WITHOUT CAPITAL PUNISHMENT (THE DEATH PENALTY) OUR LIVES ARE LESS SECURE AND CRIMES OF VIOLENCE INCREASE.CAPITAL PUNISHMENT IS ESSENTIAL TO CONTROL VIOLENCE IN SOCIETY.TO WHAT EXTENT DO U AGREE WITH THIS OPINION

A.
Many people believe that the only way to reduce crime and violence is practicing capital punishment.I totally disagree with this view because i believe that there are many possible ways to control violence and death penalty is definetly not one of them.

On the one hand, there are many arguments against death penalty.Firstly ,it is not a good deterent to criminals and offenders bacause many criminals do not think that they will be caught and will have no fear about this maximum punishment.Besides,there is no evidence that the nations that are practising death penalty have lower crime rates.secondly,innocent people could be wrongly convicted and executed.From an ethical point of perspective,it is a form of revenge and we have no right to take another human life.Thus,execution of a human being is completely avoided

At the same time,many possible ways are there to reduce crimes of violence and to make our lives secure.Rehabilitation is an effective approach to decrase habitual offending and therefor crime rate.If government can provide enough job opportunities and education to offenders,they are unlikely to repeat their mistakes.In fact,death penalty actually punishes a person without giving a chance for reforming and I am of the opinion that we are suppossed to reduce the crimes not the criminals.

To conclude,capital punishment is unnecessory and unethical for the reduction in crimes,while reformation of prisoners is needed for a peaceful society.

(approximately 250 words)
I have taken ielts exam four times before .My score was always half band less than what i actually needed. So i need your valuable comments and correction to get through this is exam

Thank you Ahmad,
I do not usually type a lot.So those spelling mistakes were mostly typing mistakes.However, I understood that I need to work very hard to improve my lexical resource and to support my opinions with relevent examples. I have taken this exam 4 times before and every time my score was 6.5 for writing ,though a 7 band is required for my immigration.Now I know that those problems were mostly related to vocabulary and coherence.I am planning to appear for the exam after three months and hopefully with your support and immense help,I may get through this.

I have some doubts
Is it really needed to write very long complex sentence to achieve a 7 band score?

The answer is NO. A complex sentence should have a strong structure, but it shouldn't be too long. If a sentence be too long, it may become hard for a reader to understand it.

THANKS AHMAD .
But what you mean by a strong structure for a complex sentence?I was taught that a good essay is a mixture of simple and complex sentences and our view of thinking should be clear for the reader.To make our points clear and straight I think that we should use simple form of a complex structure and obviously our selection of words has paramount importance.

I mean you should use the sentences with appropriate and intricate grammar. Try to use a wide range of grammar structures to show your ability for using various structures. Of course, you should use both simple and complex sentences and what I said was about some sentences throughout the essay, not all the sentences. As some examples of a complex sentence I can mention the structure of "not only..., but also..", or the use of the sentences which consist of the words "Although", "even though" and the like. The use of "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" in one sentence can be another example of a complex sentence.

Hope this answers your question

Regards
Ahmad

THANKS AHMAD
MAY DOD BLESS YOU
Now I understand what you meant.I will try to adapt your ideas and opinions in my writing style and will post an essay very soon.I hope that you will be there to help me out .

thanks once again