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Urbanization is growing faster, which means the criminals are becoming more common in our lives.



keinymigg 1 / -  
Dec 1, 2012   #1
Some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Urbanization is growing faster, which means the criminals are becoming more common in our lives. Some people take the view that crime makers should be imprisoned in order to reduce the crime rate. On the other hand, there are so many people who strongly advocate that there should be an appropriate punishment for each criminal. I totally agree with the later one.

First, we can observe easily that the proposes of setting up the laws and punishment is for helping offenders improve their personalities rather than to trap them for a long time. The more time criminal people spend on jailing is not always going with the more ameliorative things they get. It must be considered that how long the crime makers have to be made to live in custody depends on the seriousness of their crimes.

What is also worth noticing is that the education policies for prisoners are not perfect as most people think. Despite that fact that the prisons and its educator-wardens help many people find the right way back, it cannot be denied that those repeated offences have become more and more impractical and ineffectual. Furthermore, the prison is a 'gallery of crimes', which means the malefactors' relationship can be increasing, and more offences might be created by long imprisonment.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that the length of time staying after the cells should be given truly for each criminal. What is more, all we need to stop crimes is making our education system better, not trying to increase sentence length.

Thank you guys so much for your edits.

Keiny Migg

dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 1, 2012   #2
Some people take the view that crime makers should be imprisoned in order to reduce the crime rate.

This is different to what is said by the prompt; The prompt states that criminals should be given longer terms in prison. This does not rule out that they should be imprisoned. Surely they can be imprisoned but with a longer terms in prison. Always make sure that you align your argument with the prompt... That is important :)

The more time criminal people spend on jailingin jail

You need to have examples for each reason you give in support of your opinion... It is a requirement for this task!
my88626 8 / 12  
Dec 2, 2012   #3
Hello, you have good point of views, but lack of some examples and evidence to support your essay:)
Mommmmo 5 / 15  
Dec 2, 2012   #4
crime makers

I think it will be better to use Criminals

there are so many people who strongly advocate that there should be an appropriate punishment for each criminal

It will be better as: appropriate punishement for different crimes are stongly advocated by many people.

Besides, I think your structure have some problems too. Take your paragraph two as example: you wrote "FIRST" in the beginning but there is no progressive setences after that. Personally suggest you could draft some points first, then wrote according that.
joythblessy 86 / 266  
Dec 2, 2012   #5
Hai...

Urbanization is growing fast...o.k
Bt i feel..
it doesn't mean what you wrote...

Crime rates are surging, means...

Start with good sentance...

:education policies = rehabilitation

All the best
Tessy


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