Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


[IELTS TASK 2] _Viability of GM foods to meet demand of growing population



alishiraz 1 / 2  
Aug 11, 2017   #1
With a growing world population one the most pressing issues is feeding such a number of people. Some people think that GM foods offer a viable solution to this problem. To what extent Do you agree or disagree?

feeding a growing number of people



The more population in our world, the larger quantity of food will be need to feed such a tremendous number of people. Since swelling population in countries is inevitable, one of the imperative concerns is how people can forage for food, despite this explosive growth. In this regard, GM foods production is a recommended solution with which it is believed that people can guarantee their food necessities. However, I would question the plausibility of this method by looking at how these foods could be health hazardous as well as they can negatively alter the origin of world's ecosystems.

For one, the outcomes of such alternations in foods' origins could pose detrimental impacts to humans' over-all wellbeing. Take vitamin deficiencies cases in many countries as an example. Based on some studies in my country, Iran, it is represented that GM foods contain less amount of vitamins and minerals, compared those of normally-grown produce. As Persian individuals tend to have determined portion of food essentials suggested by nutritionists, they ingest less amount of nutrients than expected with consuming these sorts of foods. Thus, it is apparent that, GM foods do not carry healthy properties which normally-produced ones do.

Additionally, genetic changes in foods for the sake of more massive production could cause flaws in the chain of ecosystems. For instance, genetically modified tomatoes in my country have fewer leaves, so that it leads to more dryness on soil after irrigation in hot days. Following this, there are a lot of objections from farmers that these crops associated with more water usage. Based on the above reasoning, mentioned problem could result in groundwater aquifers depletion. Thus, the negative ramifications of GM produce are clear.

To put in a nutshell, however, by GM foods there could be some temporary solutions for feeding growing population, the devastating influences on people's health could diminish its virtues. It is recommended that food supplies management could address this problem more effectively.

zeal 5 / 14  
Aug 11, 2017   #2
@alishiraz
apart from some accidental grammar mistakes like "will be need", in my opinion, the essay is well structured.
I'm not sure that "to put in a nutshell" could be used as some say it is informal.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Aug 12, 2017   #3
Ali, why are you questioning the plausibility of using GM food in your essay when you are being asked to discuss the extent of your agreement or disagreement with the presented point of view? Your discussion does not follow the logic being required of you by the original prompt. It deviated from the original discussion because you decided to discuss a topic that is nowhere near the given prompt requirement. Therefore, this essay is not going to get a passing grade, on any level in an actual test. Your line of reasoning would have been acceptable if you had properly addressed the paraphrasing and opinion statement at the end of your first paragraph. Due to the difference in what you presented there, when compared with the original requirements, you would have immediately failed the TA portion of the test. Once you fail the TA section, it becomes very difficult to pull up your score with the remaining criteria in order to get a passing score.
OP alishiraz 1 / 2  
Aug 14, 2017   #4
Hi @Holt, thanks a lot I really appreciate your comments. I will give foremost consideration to what you recommended.


Home / Writing Feedback / [IELTS TASK 2] _Viability of GM foods to meet demand of growing population
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳