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Essay: "Video surveilance is essential"

rsgino7 2 / 1  
Sep 17, 2008   #1
Although, we are constantly being told that we should not worry about our safety, can we really afford it? According to the Toronto Police statistics there have been 144 shootings this year. That's a 22 percent increase! Don't you think that something is not right? In fact, we have to take some sort of an action before it gets worse. Extensive video surveillance would not only help to solve and prevent crimes but would also lead to a more peaceful and ordered society. It would provide a deterring effect to crime and criminals would be easily identified. Furthermore, it would bring more order to the society because everything is being recorded. More importantly, a surveillance system would also benefit our economy especially at this time what some experts call a shrinking economy. It is time to fight back crime.

A surveillance system throughout the city would cut down on the number of crimes. It will make society safer by improving the ability of police forces to catch and convict criminals. For instance, there was a townhouse community in downtown Toronto where all the homes faced in on each other. This invited criminal activity (ex. drug dealers) because the police could not see what was going on inside the complex from streets leading into it. Hence, video surveillance will enable the police to solve crimes and convict their perpetrators more effectively. Following this further, it would also provide a deterrent effect to crime. Potential criminals may want to think twice before committing an offense. Mayor Cory Booker believes that cutting-edge technology will reduce crime. In fact, Jew Jersey finished its initial deployment of 111 cameras. Furthermore, major cities such as New York, London and Chicago have started to implement a video surveillance system. Indeed, it is time for a busy city like Toronto to put a video surveillance into operation.

A video surveillance system would be vital to Toronto, especially since it is a metropolitan area. It would lead to a more ordered society. Everyone's action would be recorded. Hence, no one would commit an illegal activity, particularly when they know that they are being recorded. As a result, the number of murders, thefts and rapes would dramatically decrease. There would be no more arguing at an accident scene because the accident would be on tape. In a law suit we would have solid evidence against criminals. Everything would be much simpler. Of course some question privacy, but if you are not a criminal privacy is not an issue. The only reason people seem to like privacy is so that they can do illegal activities. The society would function without any problems with the help of a video surveillance system.

The implementation of a surveillance system would also benefit the economy. It would cut down on the need of for as many police and security guards. But at the same time it will create more jobs in the area of technological industries. There would be a large demand for those who have a proper education in technology related areas. Industries would also support the idea of surveillance because it projects their goods and services and keeps their costs down. All things considered, it will create an economic boost, which we need at time.

In the long run, extensive video surveillance would diffidently help to reduce crime and help the society lead to a more ordered civilization. The level of crime would be cut down dramatically. The society would function without any problems and soon we can say that we are not in a recession. In an ideal society, such as this, who needs privacy especially since you are not a criminal.

***could you please improve my essay and maybe suggest a title. thanks in advance

EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Sep 17, 2008   #2
Nice job. Since you did not include the prompt/assignment specifications, I can only edit for mechanics and grammar. Watch the use of casual contractions such as "can't" and "won't" as they are inappropriate in academic writing; instead, use their proper forms (i.e. "cannot" and "will not"). Also, stay away from the pronoun "you." This is also inappropriate for academic writing and can put your reader on edge because of its accusatory manner. Instead, try substituting "I" or "one" in its place. Also, you have some great statistical information; make sure you are properly citing it.

I like the title "Video Surveillance is Essential"; or, what about something like "Surveillance for Safer Cities"?
OP rsgino7 2 / 1  
Sep 18, 2008   #3
Thank you for helping me out. In fact, I realized that i have to be more formal. Its for my english class--hope i'm going to get a good mark.

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