The conversation took place in John's house. At weekend, Hoang came over to visit him and they talk about the limitation in election voting age.
Hoang: Hey John, is it right that people in California must be at least 18 in order to vote?
John: Yes, it's right. The election policy in California requires that the voters must be at least 18 in order to vote.
Hoang: Why doesn't the government lower the voting age down to 16? At 16 a person is eligible to work, he or she can apply for an official job. If the government allows them the right to work, then they should also see that a 16 years old person is mature enough to vote.
John: I don't think we should do that. It's too early for a 16 years old person to vote, he or she lacks of experience to determine whether the issue is good or bad. A 16 years old person usually lives with his or her parents. They have no worries about rent payment, taxes, billing, etc. They are not aware or may have no interest in the political parties and the election. Most of them can tell exactly the stories line of some video games but they can not remember the backgrounds of the candidates. How can we let the ignorant people like them participate in the serious event like the election?
Hoang: I don't think that it's right to restrict 16 years old people from saying their words. At 16 they can get a job and pay taxes and it is undemocratic that they have no say in who sets those taxes. Many fields such as the minimum wage and benefits also affect them directly and they should have a say in these policies.
John: There many policies affect people in various ages. Policies on nursery education affect 4 year olds, but it doesn't mean that we give them a vote. We must trust mature adults to vote on the behalf of ignorant people.
Hoang: Many 18 year old people do not make informed decisions. In fact many 40 year old people do not make informed decisions and this does not mean we deny them the vote.
John: Most 16 year old people would either vote the way their parents voted, or deliberately vote the other way to be rebellious. They would not consider all the issues and make an informed decision.
Hoang: I don't think so. In modern society today, 16 year old people are more mature than ever before and there is no significant gap between an 18 year old person and a 16 year old person's ability to vote, the distinction is arbitrary.
John: You shouldn't think that way. That the fact that more young people are smoking, drinking and having sex earlier than before does not mean that they are more mature. People at 16 are still children mentally and much development happens in the next two years. We should keep the voting age at 18 to ensure full maturity
Hoang: The restriction will limit the number of voters. The wider pool of voters we have, the better it is for democracy, as it increases representation.
John: We can not say that everyone should have the vote. With this argument, why not 15 year old people? The fact is that you must have limits and while some 16 year old people probably are mature enough to vote, the status quo protects against the majority who are not.
Hoang: I think I understand the reasons why the California government limits the voting age at 18. Thank you for your information.
John: No problem.
***The requirement of this essay is the solid debate in an issue. The debate can stay in form of a conversation or a plain article.
Please help me to fix grammatical errors as well as vocabulary. Please give me some advices that I can make my essay better.
Good morning.
Grammatically and mechanically, the script looks clean. The conclusion is a bit abrupt though; it seems that Hoang is convinced a bit too easily. Perhaps instead of lengthening the piece, Hoang can add something to the end of his line indicating that he's not totally convinced just yet, or that he'll think about it. Just a thought.
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
Good morning, thanks for your help.
Do you think I can change the conclusion into something like:
Hoang: I can understand that the election is an important event celebrated once every year so that American people want to take it seriously. But I still think that we should consider about the qualification of 16 years old people. I will give more thought about it. If we have a chance next time, I will discuss more with you about this issue.
John: Surely, I'm always here to answer your questions.
