Hi guys! I need help on editing a descriptive essay that I am summiting for grading. It's only a rough draft, so there will be plenty of things that needs correcting.
If you guys know any descriptive devices that you could add to describe the essay, please feel free :)
Any thing will help <3 Comment ASAP, its due Monday, Thanks!
A Walk to Margaret Falls
With nothing on my mind, I jog through the forest, twigs crunching underneath my feet. Trying not to trip over myself, I take notice of the scenery around me. Trees were the skyscrapers of this forest, surrounding me from all sides. I notice the forest I'm in was nut-brown, filled with deciduous maple trees. It's truly a magnificent sight.
As I continue walking on the leaf-carpeted path, squirrels and chipmunks stare at me, hurriedly scampering away even at the slightest sound. The smell of the forest was fresh and organic after some light drizzle last night. Half-eaten nuts are scattered all over the pathway, left-overs from the animal's morning snack. I look up, immediately mesmerized by the morning stars, shining like silver snowflakes. The peace to everything was soul soothing.
Our family was on a mini-vacation to our cottage near Margaret River as a treat for my sister's 9th birthday. The cottage was quite isolated from the main road, leaving lots of room for freedom. Our backyard was the forest, waiting to be explored.
I woke up early in the morning, quickly telling my parents that I will be back by noon, and that's how I ended up by the jewel-blue stream in the forest. Apparently, if you follow the river, it will lead you to the majestic Margaret River Falls.
So I continue to follow the roads of the forest.
The river hopped over the rocks happily, curving gently through the forest.
The river drew me to a wild raspberry bush along the sides of the riverbank. I picked some and they tasted orchard sweet, immediately grabbing some more. I kind of regret not packing a snack for the road because I left in such a hurry. I realize I am pretty thirsty too, so I take a sip from the refreshing stream, the water tasting divine down my dry throat.
In the distance, I could see a family of ducks paddling on the water, enjoying their summer. I'm so tempted to spend the day here, but remembering my promise to my parents I continue moving towards the waterfall.
A couple minutes later, I begin to hear the roaring sound of the waterfall. Excited, I step up my pace and walk faster towards my sanctuary. The thunderous clap increasing in volume as I get closer and closer to Margaret Falls. It was growling and rumbling.
A board-walk rises from the dirt path, guiding me to the place I've been looking forward to the whole morning.
At last, I step into the clearing, right where the waterfall plunges deep into the small lake.
I gasp in astonishment at the clarity of the Caribbean-blue water. It was spurting and drizzling onto the basalt rock. The main, larger waterfall pounded the rocks, which was flanked by 2 smaller ones, equally beautiful. It tumbled down the mountain, ending at the foot of the mountain throwing up bubbles of spray everywhere.
The whole thing looked like a wall of blue satin threaded with silver.
The grass growing on the rocks next to it are nodding gently.
Flowers blossoming near the lake giving of a honey-sweet smell.
The frogs croaking nearby added to the harmonic melody.
I inch closer to the water, the air feeling much cooler. I instantly regret not bringing a jacket. In a pair of thin shorts, and t-shirt, I begin to shudder from the cold. I decide to not stay for much longer, and get a cold on my sister's birthday.
Not failing to remember to take pictures, I begin taking my last look of the magnificent scenery, memorizing every detail.
I pack everything up, bracing myself for the long journey of heading back to the cottage.
If you guys know any descriptive devices that you could add to describe the essay, please feel free :)
Any thing will help <3 Comment ASAP, its due Monday, Thanks!
A Walk to Margaret Falls
With nothing on my mind, I jog through the forest, twigs crunching underneath my feet. Trying not to trip over myself, I take notice of the scenery around me. Trees were the skyscrapers of this forest, surrounding me from all sides. I notice the forest I'm in was nut-brown, filled with deciduous maple trees. It's truly a magnificent sight.
As I continue walking on the leaf-carpeted path, squirrels and chipmunks stare at me, hurriedly scampering away even at the slightest sound. The smell of the forest was fresh and organic after some light drizzle last night. Half-eaten nuts are scattered all over the pathway, left-overs from the animal's morning snack. I look up, immediately mesmerized by the morning stars, shining like silver snowflakes. The peace to everything was soul soothing.
Our family was on a mini-vacation to our cottage near Margaret River as a treat for my sister's 9th birthday. The cottage was quite isolated from the main road, leaving lots of room for freedom. Our backyard was the forest, waiting to be explored.
I woke up early in the morning, quickly telling my parents that I will be back by noon, and that's how I ended up by the jewel-blue stream in the forest. Apparently, if you follow the river, it will lead you to the majestic Margaret River Falls.
So I continue to follow the roads of the forest.
The river hopped over the rocks happily, curving gently through the forest.
The river drew me to a wild raspberry bush along the sides of the riverbank. I picked some and they tasted orchard sweet, immediately grabbing some more. I kind of regret not packing a snack for the road because I left in such a hurry. I realize I am pretty thirsty too, so I take a sip from the refreshing stream, the water tasting divine down my dry throat.
In the distance, I could see a family of ducks paddling on the water, enjoying their summer. I'm so tempted to spend the day here, but remembering my promise to my parents I continue moving towards the waterfall.
A couple minutes later, I begin to hear the roaring sound of the waterfall. Excited, I step up my pace and walk faster towards my sanctuary. The thunderous clap increasing in volume as I get closer and closer to Margaret Falls. It was growling and rumbling.
A board-walk rises from the dirt path, guiding me to the place I've been looking forward to the whole morning.
At last, I step into the clearing, right where the waterfall plunges deep into the small lake.
I gasp in astonishment at the clarity of the Caribbean-blue water. It was spurting and drizzling onto the basalt rock. The main, larger waterfall pounded the rocks, which was flanked by 2 smaller ones, equally beautiful. It tumbled down the mountain, ending at the foot of the mountain throwing up bubbles of spray everywhere.
The whole thing looked like a wall of blue satin threaded with silver.
The grass growing on the rocks next to it are nodding gently.
Flowers blossoming near the lake giving of a honey-sweet smell.
The frogs croaking nearby added to the harmonic melody.
I inch closer to the water, the air feeling much cooler. I instantly regret not bringing a jacket. In a pair of thin shorts, and t-shirt, I begin to shudder from the cold. I decide to not stay for much longer, and get a cold on my sister's birthday.
Not failing to remember to take pictures, I begin taking my last look of the magnificent scenery, memorizing every detail.
I pack everything up, bracing myself for the long journey of heading back to the cottage.