Please review this draft essay and let me know the top 3 areas of improvement. Thank you all very much!
Kyle J
English 102
Professor Gryder
16 May 2012
War in Afghanistan and Iraq
The United States of American is the greatest country in the world and because of that, the attraction for terrorism is always a concern. On September 11, 2001, the concern became reality when the world trade centers were attacked by terrorists and as a result, thousands of Americans lost their lives. America reacted by launching anti-Taliban operations, the first starting in Iraq then in Afghanistan. The first mission was Operation Iraqi Freedom. The purpose of this mission was to remove Saddam Hussein from leadership and support the anti-Taliban operations. Next we launched another mission but it was in Afghanistan with the same objective to support the anti-Taliban operations especially since that's where Taliban operations form. Even with all the good these wars are doing, a lot of people do not support these wars and therefore, against them. Even though people disagree with the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, its important that we support our troops by knowing why they are at war, ensuring soldiers get proper care, and giving them the recognition they deserve.
The United States has been in war with Afghanistan and Iraq for quite some time now and it's very important to know why. It all started on September 11, 2001 when American was set as a target and the World Trade Centers were destroyed by acts of terrorism. Now, because of those attacks, we are in war with the Taliban. These wars we are involved in were thought to be simple and easy to accomplish what was necessary for the mission. As it turns out, our presence in Iraq ended up attracting terrorists that just want to kill American soldiers (Prah 881). The war has attracted a lot of attention to the Taliban with our Army being out there and shows with the amount of casualties. As is turns out, war was tough and not short like it was expected to be. As a result, we have now been fighting in the Middle East for over ten years. Another challenge faced in Afghanistan and Iraq was the terrain. The Taliban soldiers are all mostly born and raised in this mountainous terrain and know if very well. That's one area where the Americans or other soldiers fighting against the Taliban have the disadvantage. With the help of modern technology it helps our military get through those tough situations with less casualties but everyday we fight it puts us that much closer to the end result of eliminating the Taliban.
One of the biggest challenges of this war back in America is receiving support from the people. Support for this war has gotten really low because people are ready for the military to pull out but with all the obstacles we cant. Ever since our military arrived in Iraq in Afghanistan it has been an attraction to terrorists. With all this attraction, there are a lot more soldier's lives that are lost. Even though we are over in the Middle East fighting to help keep America safe from terrorists people still feel like we should be putting more time and money into our country, such as more efforts into supporting areas with damage from hurricanes and tornados or other disasters that could happen. Soldiers deserve support, whether people agree with what they do in war or not. Their actions are based on what the government decides they do, so supporting troops doesn't mean you are supporting their actions. This is important to understand before we get into further details of the wars.
First, we will go over the war in Iraq. This war was Operation Iraqi Freedom. The intent of this invasion was to remove Saddam Hussein from power and restore the government in Iraq. The intent was to better the lives of the civilians living there and to drastically reduce the terrorism that happens on a daily basis. The primary cause for launching this invasion was September 11, 2001. This was the day that every American will remember forever, the day our freedom was attacked by terrorists. Both of these wars, especially Operation Iraqi Freedom, was though to be a simple invasion by taking care of Saddam Hussein and restoring the government. As it turns out, it ended up being a lot more complex than anyone ever expected it to be. As it turns out, our presence in Iraq ended up attracting terrorists that just want to kill American soldiers (Prah 881). Another huge factor in the complexity was the terrain. Whether is the high elevation in some areas, the steep mountains with hiding places everywhere, or the landmines that are hidden everywhere. All of these factors are why we have been fighting this war for over 10 years. Again, our American soldiers deserve support whether we agree with the war itself or not.
The war in Afghanistan was another invasion as a result of September 11,2001. The focus of this war was strictly to weaken the Taliban and have a negative impact on their acts of terrorism. A lot of the terrorists and Taliban members who plotted the 9/11 attacks reside in Afghanistan. It's our goal to stop them therefore promoting the safety in the U.S. and also for the civilian that reside there. The other factor for our presence there is the ultimate nightmare that exists because of all the nuclear weapons that Pakistan has and if they fall into the wrong hands, the world would be in big trouble (Billitteri 671). A lot of people seem to assume that we are there just to stir up trouble or be the king of the mountain to show our nations power. It's always important to understand the deep down causes of war before a decision is made to support it or not. Fighting in Afghanistan is also an area that proved to be extremely difficult because of the terrain and the amount of enemies that are in that country.
Now that we have covered the basics of why we are in the wars we are in, it's important to know more about the soldiers and the care that they receive. Over the last ten years of war in the Middle East, suicide rates have increased with soldiers and veterans but they are still rising steadily (Katel 781). The reason this is brought up is because the soldiers need support, not just moral support but mental and physical help too. One big factor that causes people to stop supporting war efforts is the lack of care. There is obviously a reason that suicide rates have increased and it takes a strong proactive approach to help this situation. Studies have shown an increase in suicides because of multiple deployments a year and not enough time spent with loved ones. Another factor leading to these deaths is the mental trauma the soldiers suffer with the terrible things they see at war. A lot of people believe this is happening because the government does not have the proper care available for our soldiers. A plan in work to help soldiers is to reduce the frequency of deployment; this is allowing more time to be spent with family and getting the necessary mental and physical break needed. Military families are still aggressive with these suicide issues and feel that more could be done with this serious issue.
Even though health programs are in work, these families still think the government's approach on health is week. With problems this serious, efforts should be non-stop until these suicides dramatically decrease. Because of this lack in care, citizens are being disappointed, so the loss of support is common. There are efforts being started that make mental health care readily available to soldiers and veterans but there still needs to be more done to improve the results. Soldiers deserve the best care out there and it's up to the citizens and families of soldiers to keep pushing the government to make sure the improvements are ongoing.
Another topic of interest when it comes to war is ethics. Are wars even supposed to have ethics? War ethics are important because a lot of people don't even know they exist or if people even follow them. Civilized nations established the Humanitarian law; it is a law regarding how to confront enemies in a semi civilized way and mandates the treatment of prisoners of war (Masci 1013). This law is what raises a lot of hairs on religious leaders and causes anger since they feel that this law is not abided by. It seems that religion and war always tends to go along with war. Whether the wars are started by religions or its religious leaders having problems with how the wars are being fought. The law also states how prisoners are to be tried in the judicial system and if they are to have their trial in civilian or military courts. The main purpose of this law was an effort to control violence or even stop it. Another big factor of having this law the requirement it puts on governments to assess situations before they even start a war to make sure there is an imminent threat. On the down side, a lot of government officials feel that this law weakens the U. S. because of the peacekeeping could create backfires and end in war anyway. War ethics do exist and there will always be people who believe they are not followed. The people who follow or don't follow these ethics will always stand out in one way or another.
The last area to touch on is the recognition of soldiers and veterans. Recognition to soldiers is very important and can be done in a variety of ways. In today's society there are a lot of mixed emotions towards soldiers, especially when people disagree with what they do. When it all comes down to it, they are working their job of choice to pay bills and live the American dream just like everyone else. The soldiers are the ones that decided to take the job to keep America a free country and enable everyone else to live the American dream. What makes some sad is how soldiers seem to take the criticism for wars that the government sends them in to fight and sometimes get the cold shoulder for it. Whether people agree or disagree with what they do, it all has one main outcome, keeping the U.S. a free country. What the government asks of the soldiers to do should never dictate how they should be treated as a person. Giving a simple thank you or a handshake goes a long way, when you want someone to feel appreciated. A lot of people do not realize what a soldier has to go when he/she is faced with a world of war. Now days it's not just one deployment but several. Appreciation for what soldiers do to sustain Americas freedom, whether people agree or not, is not something that should go unrecognized.
Finally, soldiers are at war to sustain freedom for all Americans. Since September 11, 2001, we have been at war in the Middle East supporting the anti-Taliban efforts through operation Iraqi Freedom and fighting in Afghanistan. Though it seems that these wars are never ending, it's important to remember that the cost of our freedom is never ending. There is always a reason for war; otherwise there would never be war. Soldiers will always have to fight whether people agree the decisions of the government or not. With war also comes the affects it has on the war fighters, so making sure the proper care of them should always be top priority. Even though many people disagree with the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, it's vital that we support our troops by considering why they are at war, ensuring they get proper care, and giving them the recognition they deserve. Always remember that a simple thank you or hand shake goes a long way when you want to make someone know that they are appreciated.
Works Cited
Billitteri, Thomas J. "Afghanistan Dilemma." CQ Researcher (2009): 669-692. Print.
Katel, Peter. "Military Suicides." CQ Researcher (2011): 781-804. Print.
Masc, David. "Ethics of War." CQ Researcher (2002): 1015-1030. Print.
Hello. Well, I can offer you some suggestions for improvement. Firstly, I don't know if this assignment was to be a certain number of words but either way, you can definitely condense it a bit by not being so repetitive of certain opinions and facts (though a select few of them bear repeating I suppose). Another thing that is important, is that even with an "argumentative" essay, for example, it is proper to state OPINIONS as such ("In MY opinion,...") and to distinguish the difference between fact and personal feeling. This is especially important in matters of politics, life and death, war, etc.. Finally, your structure could use improvement. Keep it simple: A clear and concise opening statement, followed by a clear introductory paragraph, followed by a few more to support your theme, followed by a nice close. That is the essence of an essay. Try to avoid filler and writing in circles. Good luck! :)
