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No need to go to watch live performances? - Opinion Essay - IELTS WARRIOR



Mr Calma 17 / 2  
Aug 27, 2025   #1
These days, there's no need to go to watch live performances (eg. a show or a concert) because what we can see on TV or computer screens is better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over the past few decades, individuals have prioritised watching live performances via digital devices over attending them in person. In my opinion, I strongly advocate for this statement due to its convenience and more affordable price.

One of the fundamental benefits of watching live shows online is the convenience. Nowadays, modern technology provides high-quality images and keeps up with the fast-paced motions to support viewers in keeping track of the performance. People no longer need to travel long distances to watch the show offline; instead, they can stay at home and enjoy it on a streaming service. For example, many Vietnamese can watch numerous international Black Pink concerts on YouTube on their TVs, which helps immerse them in the experience without spending time travelling to the destination where the event takes place. Therefore, watching performance online via digital equipment can help save time.

Beyond the time-saving benefits, another primary advantage of enjoying live performances online is lowering expenses. Many live performances require an entrance fee for the audience. In contrast, watching online is often free, although a few platforms may charge a much more reasonable fee for access permission. For instance, the ticket price for a single person in the Son Tung MTP event in Vietnam fluctuates around five million VND, but many people choose to watch it on their TVs for only about three hundred thousand VND. As a result, people can focus on the performance without worrying about their budgets.

In conclusion, I firmly agree with the trend that citizens tend to use electronic gadgets or TVs to enjoy live performances rather than watching them directly, as it not only offers a better sense of convenience but also alleviates the required expenses.
(285 words)

Should I add some recommendations to my closing paragraph?
Thank you!
Mr Calma
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15921  
Aug 27, 2025   #2
Over the past few decades

Incorrect time line reference. The original reference used was "These days" so the alternative reference would be "Recently" or "Recent times". Do not exaggerate your word usage. That will negatively affect your LR and GRA scores.

The reasoning paragraph are well developed. The ideas are explained in a very understandable and easy manner. The reviewer will definitely note this in reference to your Cohesiveness + Coherence score.

The concluding paragraph is a problem though. That should be composed of at least 2 sentences totaling at least 40 words. It must restate the original prompt and summarize your 2 opinions. I suggest at least a 3 sentence reference for this paragraph to help you achieve a better scoring consideration overall.


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