Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS TASK 2: Water as a valuable resources in the worldwide



Anaguna 21 / 26  
Apr 10, 2016   #1
Writing Task 2
As water is a valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use?
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


Most governments have to control the quantity of water which is used by human since it is necessary for all of the inhabitants and other creatures. Lack of water in some part of the world is one of the reasons why the government should be limited the usage of water. I would argue that it is a wise step in which will sustain the water source.

Many people need water to drink, bathe, cultivate crops, wash goods, produces something and others. There is no day without the water however there are sometimes certain people who are using water wastefully. For instance, people who are washing garments with a plenty of water and out pour abundant. This is should not be done since the water can use in some other activities. Thus, it has to be controlled the usage of water in the environment.

Another important that the government should be limited the distribution of water is worried about the other humans who are facing a thirst every day. As a pragmatic instance, in Africa, there is a Foro village, in the Konso district of south-western Euthopia, where the occupants get difficult to find clean water to drink. They have to walk for miles to the mountain so as to bring the water to their houses. It is, therefore, crucial to the government prevent the water supplies to avoid the problem when the drought comes.

In conclusion, I believe that water is very important and it will be wisely if people and the government in same ways to conserve it. Where possible, the government should more concern on the area where lack of water.

akbarmappiare 31 / 445  
Apr 10, 2016   #2
Hi Ana..
I would give you a few suggestions about your writing. Turning to the grammar, I would not comment since I think you showed huge progress in this. However, I would explain about how you sharpen your ideas in the writing. Actually, you review the good introduction paragraph. I believe you could reach the high score on condition that you explain a reason why you disagree.

Well, I get the information that Ana stand out in the agree statement. However, you should write your view if you disagree this matter. The examiner would know that you have a breadth of knowledge about this topic. Although you agree with this problem, you should explain why you disagree so that you could get the high score. If you review the topic partially, less than 6 is a score which you gain.

On the other hand, you should take the example which related to the idea in the body paragraph. Your examples in the body did not support your opinion strongly. I advise you to find the example such as a recent study or an academic article. After that, you make an incorrect meaning in the sentence.

For example: Another important that the government should be limited the distribution of water
ANOTHER IMPORTANT WHICH THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD LIMIT THE DISTRIBUTION OF THE WATER.

I also remember you that the good paragraph has at least 3 sentences.

I believe you could boost your writing if you wanna practice more and more.

Happy writing..


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Water as a valuable resources in the worldwide
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳