IELTS WRITING TASK 1: WINTER TRAVEL TRENDS IN THE US FROM 1999 TO 2003

The chart illustrates the travel tendency in the winter in the United States between 1999 and 2003.

trips in the winter season

It is noticeable that the American tend to travel fewer trips for work and more for relaxation in winter occasion. We also can see that the number of winter leisure travel is far more than that of winter business travel.

In 1999, approximately 40 million people traveled in the winter with working purpose in the United State. The figure gradually fell to just over 30 million in 2001 and then remained stable until 2003. By contrast, winter leisure travel's numbers just stood at around 150 million in the first 2 years, before remarkably rose in three years after, reaching a peak at about 164 million person-trips in 2003.

The gap between the number of winter trips for business and for relaxation was more and more widen over the period shown. In 1999, the number of winter leisure trips quadrupled that of business ones. Five years later, the gap significantly extended to be 5.5 times, corresponding with about 134 million trips.

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Nguyen, this is an excellent first attempt at writing a Task 1 essay. However, you made a tremendously large mistake in your analytical presentation. While you do have a trending statement presented in the essay, you failed to present the all important summary overview for your essay. That is why your essay is short by 1 paragraph in completing the 4 paragraph requirement for this essay. It is always best to make sure that you review the presentation for any omissions you might have made during the drafting process. If you miss something as important as the summary overview, you will be scored down in terms of task accuracy. A sample summary overview for this essay is as follows:

Two bar graphs have been presented in this essay for comparison purposes. The comparisons cover the winter travel patterns of Americans for the purposes of business and leisure. The information indicates the number of people who take these trips by the millions. A quick review of the information shows the trend that Americans travel more for leisure rather than business during the winter months. This essay will further analyze the immediate information presented while also looking for similar points for presentation in the report.

Make sure to present the outline of your analysis presentation in the summary overview in order to help the reader stay on track while reading your presentation. It helps the reader know what to expect and allows you to write in a more coherent and cohesive manner which increases your overall scoring considerations.

Thank you very much! I really appreciate your advances, it is very helpful for me!