Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS - Essay about woman's place in society



hds62 2 / 2  
Jul 13, 2012   #1
Some people believe in the traditional idea that the woman's place is in the home, while others say that idea is outdated and that women should play an increasingly important role in the workplace of the future. What is your opinion?

There have been strong arguments regarding women's place in the society in last decades. Some people advocate the opinion that women should stay home, and others who are against this theory, believe in women's significant roles in the future workplace.

The first group who are mostly from traditional backgrounds, believe that males are the one who must work out in the society. For example, in most developing countries, children should be brought up by their mothers and this is the fundamental duty which females have and they must spend rest of their lives as a full-time housewife. However, for example, some countries like Saudi Arabia are wealthy and most of families have traveled around the globe and are familiar to modern cultures, their females do not have the right to drive, let alone having a job and work eight-hours a day with male colleagues.

On the other hand, there are school of thoughts that are opposite the first group. They believe in women's potential as a part of the society which, not only they can participate in society as an employee, but also they can be more responsible in their positions than males. You can see this even in political roles, since Germany has elected Angela Merkel as a prime minister, they have turned to one of the most successful countries in economics in Europe.

In conclusion, I extremely believe in women's powers and potentials in order to make the Earth a better place for living. It is quite clear that parents should encourage their daughters from early years to participate in communities which will lead them to their bright and successful future.

LILUSH /  
Jul 13, 2012   #2
Good Essay
Peter Piper - / 1  
Jul 13, 2012   #3
There have been strong arguments regarding women's place in the society inthe last decades. Some people advocate the opinion that women should stay home, and others who are against this theory, believe in women's significant roles in the future workplace.

In conclusion, I extremely believe in women's powers and potentials in order to make the Earth a better place for living(statement is phrased awkwardly) . It is quite clear that parents should encourage their daughters from early years to participate in communities, which will lead them to their bright and successful future(s) .

You introduced your opinion very well by showing us the two opposing arguments, however I want to hear more about what you think. After all, that's what the question is asking. Be careful with matching singular nouns with singular verbs, and plural nouns with plural verbs. This is a good start.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS - Essay about woman's place in society
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳