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'Work too much?' - Ielts what contribute to job satisfaction?



hyperione 5 / 11  
Nov 30, 2011   #1
About 2000 years ago Seneca in his " DE BREVITATE VITAE " said that the busy man, that spent the whole life working and loosing time, dies without living. This words are incredibly actual. Nowadays the most purpose of the man is working. The modern society try to transform the child in a working machine, giving to him an utilitarian education.

Doubtless the job became the principal occupation in the everyone life. Unfortunately many people don t understand that work isn't everything in this life.

Work too much, how happens to a lot of people today, is a serious problem. The busy worker cant adequately accomplish to his family duties. This is a real problem mostly for the people who has children, indeed the absence of one of the parents can be very traumatic for youth individuals. Moreover some jobs are very stressful and can bring workers into a particular state of mind, which can be dangerous for the physical and psychic health of the person. Also the problem of all the jobs is the tiring caused by too much hour of work. This concerns are intensified by the problem that not everyone can do the job of his dreams and so have to work only for earn money. Unluckily nowadays is really easy to find people who works only to earn money, and not for personal a vocation.

On the other hand the job, for many people, is a purpose of life. For example for a medic saves life can be not only a work but also a source of happiness. Moreover do well job can be the way through a person find self confidence. Also work is important for the young generations because is a way to gain independence from the family.

All this reasons can make a job really satisfying not only regarding the economical side but also from the human point of view.

greentea93 7 / 26  
Dec 5, 2011   #2
About 2000 years ago Seneca in his " DE BREVITATE VITAE " said that the busy man, that spent the whole life working and loosing time, dies without living. This words are incredibly actual.

About 2000 years ago Seneca in his " DE BREVITATE VITAE " said that the busy man, who spent the whole life working and loosing time, died without living. These words are...

The busy worker cant adequately accomplish to his family duties. This is a real problem mostly for the people who has children, indeed the absence of one of the parents can be very traumatic for youth individuals.

The busy worker cant adequately accomplish his family duties. This is a real problem mostly for the people who have children, indeed the absence of one of the parents can be very traumatic for youth individuals.

Your essay has not only problems with word choice but also grammatical errors.Moreover, the structure of your essay is not clear and adequate,I think you do'nt follow the fomat of an essay.There should be introduction,body and conclusion.:)
farina 11 / 20  
Dec 8, 2011   #3
Please make your conclusion more thorough and it will look much better if you start with like ' In conclusion,...'
Please add some real life examples
Thankyou
stellastella 18 / 25  
Dec 17, 2011   #4
If you are preparing forIELTS you have to follow this rules:
Your essay should have a introduction, at least two body paragraph and a conclusion.Your essay just has one body paragraph.
Also, it is better to use First of all, firstly, To begin with for your first body paragraph and second of all, secondly, what is more for your second body paragraph and so on.


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