Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS TASK II : work-family together and children development



fardan10 18 / 24  
Apr 4, 2016   #1
In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out of work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents absence.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion


To fulfil household needs is essential for family. As such, it has become a trend in this modern era for working together both parents which can be useful for children, while others argue that lack of attention is a reverse.

There is no doubt that luxurios life can be experienced by children when their parents work together. This reason, since it can create a large number of income for their necessities. For example, the wide range of children needs in their education such as books, school fee and so forth can be supported through the parent's money. In Addition, they also can urge their parents to buy video games, mobile phones, and others in order to enjoy their life. Hence it cannot be denied that work-family together render various of benefits for children.

However, there are also claim of drawback from both father and mather working which can lead to the lack of support and affection for the children. Since there is not enough time for mother to separate their time between working and childcare. An article 2013 in secureteen.com reported that poor-quality day care services can hamper a child's emotional and social development. Under-qualified and over-burdened staff and poor facilities at the daycare can affect your child's physical and psychological health. In Addition, If mother bring their frustration from workplace at home, children could develop a negative attitude. Thereby, it will bring dire consequence for chidren development.

In conclusion, although additional income will be achieved due to work-family together which can be enjoyed by children, negative impact can influence children life. I would argue that parents should prioritise children development than to gain a vast amount of money.

Anaguna 21 / 26  
Apr 4, 2016   #2
Hi Fardan, Your essay is good and I try to make your introduction easier to understand.

To fulfil household needs is essential for family. As such, ...

"Facing the competitive world makes many parents looking for employee as an essential need. Supporters of this perspective argue that the income of parents will be benefits for youngsters. I strongly argue that it cannot deny that the youngest get a lack of heed by their parents. "


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK II : work-family together and children development
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳