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Children development and Tv - essay for ielts task 2


megamedi 2 / 4  
Oct 21, 2016   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Watching television is bad for chilren. Use specific details and examples to support your answer.

In today's society, television is an essential part of our daily life. Yet it is claimed that watching TV is harmful for our children's development. But, it is my belief that, television is a crucial tool to lead personal as well as academic success for children.

From the personal point of view, television plays a vital role to broaden children's horizons. To be more specific, Children know outside even they do not exit from home such as they can obtain information about wild life. Another important benefit is that Children can acknowledge about our environment and about the importance of preserving wild life through watching TV. For instance, many research studies have shown that children who watch TV are less violent to animals. This example makes it clear that Tv makes children more kindly.

From the academic side, television offer programs which children can learn alphabet, numbers and also they can recognise colours. It implies that children can easy obtain new knowledge when they study at school. For example, my little brother watch cognitive programs about learning English. Yet, he does not study at school, however he can speak English. It is true that he can not speak as native speaker but he tries. He was interested in English through watching TV. It is evident from this example that Tv encourage children to learning.

By way of conclusion, Tv extend children's' outlook and It is also useful to learing. I believe that Tv will bring lots of benefits in the future than more nowadays.

inav321 6 / 37  
Oct 21, 2016   #2
Children know outside even EVEN IF they do not exit from ...
... Tv makes children more kindly. KIND.
my little brother watch WATCHES cognitive programs about learning in English AND THUS LEARNS IT TOO.
Holt - / 7,528 2001  
Oct 21, 2016   #3
Abdullah, your thought process is very good. You show a clear understanding of the prompt and you are able to defend your stand on the issue even though you are using broken English to do so. That sort of clarity of thought can help you gain an improved IELTS task 2 score. You need to concentrate on developing your written English skills though. Think carefully about the words you want to use and make sure to proof read your work before submission.

Don't forget that you are also scored on punctuation and knowledge of English grammar rules. For example, in the middle of one of your sentences, you wrote the word Children with the first word capitalized. Since this word was located within a given sentence, the word should not be capitalized. Only the first word of the start of every sentence, as well as proper nouns are capitalized within a sentence. You also need to lengthen your concluding sentences in order to gain a proper score for that part of the essay. It is too short. Always aim for at least 3 sentences minimum.
ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Oct 22, 2016   #4
hai medi

In today's society, ----> I think common to use 'nowadays' or 'these days'

... that watching TV is harmful forcollocation mistake harmful to or of

But, it is my belief that, television is a crucial tool ...

... broaden children's horizons(plural) .

... which children can learn the alphabet, numbers ...

... children can easy to obtain new knowledge ...

... can not speak as a native speaker, but (before but using a comma) he tries.

By way of conclusion, Tvtelevision extends children's' outlook and It is also useful to learning .

I believe that television will bring lots(a lot) try to use formal word of benefits in the ...

thanks


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